Child's Emotional and Social Development: Dependent on Parental Influences

As children grow up, there are many aspects of their lives which influence and affect their development and behaviors. One of the most important facets during this time period of development is the parental figures in their life. They play a large role in the social and emotional behaviors a child will possess during childhood and later in life as well. The way a parent socializes may have a slight amount to do with their genetic makeup, but due to the child's interactions with and observations of, the parents contribute more to the social and empathy related development than heredity does (Zhou et al, 2002).

Children form very strong emotional feelings about themselves and once they have made up their mind, it is very hard to convince them otherwise. If parents tell their children that they are stupid, that is what they're going to believe because they don't know any better. They have grown up listening to their parents and trusting what they say. A parent who shows concern and compassion for the child, will help their child develop a high level of self esteem. "A national longitudinal study on adolescent health found that parental connectedness (including feelings of warmth, love, and caring from parents) was protective against many adolescent health risks including emotional health." (Halloran, Ross & Carey, 2002, p. 202). It has been proven that children feel better about themselves when they know their parents are interested in their lives and what they do. In the same experiment, these researchers found that family variables are associated with diagnoses of Major Depression, Conduct Disorder, and ADHD (Halloran, Ross & Carey, 2002). The way a parent behaves around their children has a large part in how children's emotions will develop and how they will see themselves.

When children observe their parents emotions, they feel that that is how they should be reacting as well. Parents need to take their child into consideration before themselves at times, and often they don't do that. When the parent has a problem in their life, if it doesn't directly involve the child, they should not pull them into it. Research was done and it was found that children take their parents problems into themselves and worry about it just as much as the parent, even if it doesn't involve them (Cytryn & McKnew, 1996). This is a common problem families face during a divorce; children believe it is because of them and therefore it is their problem to deal with, even though in most cases it has nothing to do with them. That's a heavy burden for children to carry with them and brings a lot of emotional baggage that they wouldn't have to deal with if they weren't influenced by their parents emotions. The emotions children encompass influence how they deal with social interactions as well.

Not only do the emotions of the parents affect how children will deal with their own emotions, but social behaviors are also passed on through observation. Halloran, Ross, and Carey (2002) have proven that children often imitate their parents actions, especially in riskier behaviors such as smoking and drinking. These social behaviors can become dangerous and harmful to the children but if they see their parents doing it, they think it is ok because they are the model that they've always been taught to observe. Parents need to be careful because as the saying goes, actions speak louder than words. Even if they tell their children that it is wrong to do, the children still see the parent doing it so they figure it can't be that bad. Parents influence children through social behaviors which are not very beneficial.

Emotional problems found in parents are seen to lead to social problems in children. "Additionally, maternal mood or anxiety disorders may be associated with child social withdrawal or inhibition." (Gerhold, Laucht, Texdorf, Schmidt & Esser, 2002, p. 278). When children constantly see their parent depressed or upset, they don't want to be around them. It's a general statement that anyone wants to be around a positive person more than a negative one. If the parent gives the child the impression that they are always down, the child is going to assume that all people are and not want to be around them. Without the practice of communicating and associating with their parent, children don't know how to be socially involved with those around them.

In order to promote "prosocial" behaviors from children, their parent must show an active interest in their life, through both parental warmth and responsivity. When children have this encouragement from their caregiver they get a sense of security, control, and trust in their surrounding environment (Zhou et al, 2002). If a parent shows genuine concern and care for their children and what they're doing with their life, it will increase the children's self esteem, which in turns allows to have been social relations with others. It is hard to make a friend won't you don't like yourself, how can you expect someone to like you if you don't like yourself?

Parents who shows too much concern for their children and are overprotective, may end up causing more problems for children instead of helping their development. A story was told of a young boy who was afraid to leave his house, even just to play with his friends outside, because his family members portrayed the outside world as dangerous. He was constantly sheltered by his parents and only informed of the bad in the world so he was very antisocial and withdrawn from his peers (Cytryn & McKnew, 1996). Parents influence how children see their surroundings and if the only thing children hear is how bad the world is, that is what children are going to believe and therefore withdraw from society in fear. The way the parent reacts about situations has a large impact on how their children will react since parents serve as models.

Children who are from emotionally expressive families will more than likely have that trait as well (Zhou et all, 2002). Empathy, understanding and compassion, is a characteristic which exemplifies the ability to interact and help those around you. Roberts and Strayer's study (as cited in Zhou et all, 2002) has shown that children who have more experience with expressing their emotions, both positive and negative, are better at understanding the feelings of those around them. When people are deciding who they want to hang out with and be around, they are going to chose someone they feel comfortable around, someone they could go to for help or advice, someone that just generally understands them. Feeling accepted by these people increases children's self esteem. They feel better about themselves when they know they can help others and this is all because their parents taught them that it is ok to express their emotions and speak up about their feelings.

Not only do parents influence how children interact with their social surroundings, but they also play a part in children's social behaviors. In today's world, alcohol use among teenagers is growing and becoming more and more of a problem. It has been proven however, that growth oriented fun families were associated with decreased odds of males using alcohol. This is in part because these families have a tendency to teach social behaviors such as expressiveness and independence which help them resist peer pressure and have fun in other ways (Halloran, Ross & Carey, 2002). Parents teach children what is acceptable in the world and ways to avoid unnecessary problems. Those teenagers who have been taught to be expressive learn to follow their own beliefs and not be afraid to speak up and tell someone that they don't want to do something if they know it is wrong. Independent youth don't feel that they need to be followers and do what the crowd is doing; if they know something is wrong, they will find something else to do that will make them unique. Parents teach what is right and what is wrong so their children can apply those beliefs in the social world around them.

A parent who suffers from a mental illness will also have an effect on children's social development. "Maternal depression during babies' first 12 to 14 months is associated with children's behavior problems at age 3 ½." (Timko, Cronkite, Berg & Moos, 2002, p.166). Children tend to display more hostile behavior at school and are more fearful and withdrawn from those around them. Children of parents who are depressed don't always have a great family life. If a parent suffers from depression, the family will most likely be disorganized and have a less cohesive environment. Children raised in this kind of family environment have a problem with communication and trust (Timko, Cronkite, Berg & Moos, 2002). Children look to their families for examples of how they should feel about others and if they can't trust their own family, it will not be easy for them to hold trust in other people, forming poor friendships and relationships.

There are many people and events which influence the way children develop both emotionally and socially. The parental units in the family play the biggest role however. Parents are the ones children look to as models for both social behaviors, interactions, and appropriate emotional responses. Not only do children look to their parents for how to behave or feel, they also learn from interacting with them. The way parents treat and communicate with children give them an idea of what to expect in the outside world. Without parental influence, children would not develop in the most beneficial way and would run into many problems later on in life.

References

Cytryn, L., & McKnew, D.H.. (1996). Growing Up Sad. New York, NY: W.W. Norton & Company.

Gerhold, M., Laucht, M., Texdorf, C., & Shmidt, M.H. (2002, Summer). Early mother-infant interaction as a precursor to childhood social withdrawal. Child Psychiatry and Human Development, 32 (4), 277-293.

Halloran, E.C., Ross, G.J., & Carey, M.P. (2002, Spring). The relationship of adolescent personality and family environment to psychiatric diagnosis. Child Psychiatry and Human Development, 32 (3), 201-216.

Hart, S., Jones, N.A., Field, T., & Lundy, B. (1999,Winter). One-year-old infants of intrusive and withdrawn depressed mothers. Child Psychiatry and Human Development, 30 (2), 111- 120.

Timko, C., Cronkite, R.C., Berg, E.A., & Moos, R.H. (2002, Spring). Children of parents with univocal depression: a comparison of stably remitted, partially remitted, and nonremitted parents and nondepressed controls. Child Psychiatry and Human Development, 32 (3), 165-185.

Zhou, Q., Eisenberg, N., Lasoya, S.H., Fabes, R.A., Reiser, M., Guthrie, I.K., et al. (2002, May/June). The relations of parental warmth and positive expressiveness to children's empathy-related responding and social functioning: a longitudinal study. Child Development, 73 (3), 893-915.