Child's Play

It has been many years since I've had the opportunity to play. I'm not talking about play as an adult would do, as in board games, cards, or worse yet... golf, but real play, as a kid would play. Sometimes we all need to shed our adult skins and take time to play for the sake of play, not to merely score points or beat our friends at Trivial Pursuit. I enjoy getting into the mind of a child when I get the chance, especially when the kid in question belongs to someone else. That way, when the fun and games are over, I get to go home, have a sandwich and take a nap, while the harried parents are busy calling the child psychologist to see what has warped their little one's mind this time.

I particularly enjoy foot wrestling. Not only is it fun, but it is particularly good for tiring out a kid who is still up and running way past bedtime. Both opponents lie on their back foot matched to foot. No cheating by bracing yourself against the furniture, unless of course, you're the old guy, namely me. The object of the game is to push back and forth with legs and feet, until you have an opportunity to pin both your opponent's feet to the floor. No kicking allowed. Now, because I'm old and fat, the kids love to try to whip up on me. What they don't realize, poor innocents that they are, is that old sometimes means experience and fat means heavy and hard to move. It is quite fun watching them huff and puff and try to pin the old guy's feet down. Besides, if they start winning, I can always clutch my leg and scream "Leg cramp," ending the match. Better to feign pain than lose to a snotty nosed kid. A really good foot wrestling match is a sure ticket to nap land. Sometimes the kid goes to sleep too.

Stealing socks and checking for tickle foot are two games that go hand in hand, or rather hand in foot. At any occasion that kids are sitting around in stocking feet, put on your best crazy old guy face and try to snatch their socks off by grabbing the sock toe area and yanking furiously like a magician pulling a tablecloth. Next, while the astonished child is wondering what the heck you're doing, grab the bare foot and tickle it while screaming, "You've got tickle foot!" Now this is complete nonsense, but the kids love it. You'll love it too. The advanced tickle foot expert can remove both shoe and sock in short order, but the novice can wind up getting kicked for his entertainment efforts. Those Converse sneakers can put the hurt on you.

Another game I like to play with my young victims is ring toss. The supposed object of the game is to throw a small hoop, rubber band or bracelet over a pencil. The real goal is to distract the enemy, err...kid until I can think of another game that will burn their energy even quicker. Usually, ring toss is only a brief diversion while I catch my breath for the flying game.

The flying game is reserved for moments of sheer desperation. If the kid is whiny, crying and not too heavy, I might play the flying game, which consists of throwing random kids into the air and trying to catch them before he or she hits the ground. This isn't one of my better games as the odds are the kid is going to slip through my fingers sooner or later. I try to be near a couch or thick rug just in case. You can't be too careful with kids, especially the ones related to you, because they're going to be around at holidays and family events for years to come. You don't want to be remembered as crazy Uncle Wiley, the one who broke cousin Todd.

You too can learn to play again, just like a child. Think up your own games and entertain the youngsters in your house. Oops....I've got to run, I sense a bad case of tickle foot in the next room.