Chinese Customs and Manners

Each time I return to the United States from a trip in China I find myself reflecting on the differences and likenesses of our societies.

Adapting to the language, conversation, food, culture, and customs of an foreign country can be daunting, but also educational. Understanding the people and the way they relate to foreigners is helpful when traveling, and can help you to build excellent business relationships and friendships over time.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that the Chinese value reputation and honor.

Here are some tips on Chinese customs and manners that can help you to be successful, and allow you to begin to understand the people of China better.

Meeting the Chinese:

The Chinese will shake hands, but will also often bow. The Chinese will bow by nodding their heads. It is fine to initiate a handshake.

Don't feel badly if the Chinese do not smile openly when they greet you. They are taught to show little emotion.

It is best to address the Chinese by Mr. or Miss along with their last name before using their first name. It is polite to wait until you are invited to use their first name.

Conversing with the Chinese:

Always keep in mind that the Chinese are sensitive to 'losing face'. You should never criticize or confront a Chinese person in public. You should also be aware that the Chinese prefer not to answer 'no'' directly, so you must find a way to phrase your questions in order to avoid this.

For example, instead of asking, "will you send the samples by Friday?" consider, "When do feel you will be able to send me the samples?"

Of course as you build relationships there will be more relaxed communication.

Remember to speak softly and avoid raising your voice, and do not interrupt someone.

Don't be surprised if the Chinese comment on your weight, ask how much money you make, or inquire if you are married. These are usual topics for them.

To say hello in Chinese, say "Nee-how", Ni Hao. To say thank you, you say "see-Eh, see-eh", Xie xie.

Dining with the Chinese:

Here is where you have the opportunity to show your ability to try new things and embrace the culture. I have found that trying a little of whatever foods have been prepared is respectful, and then eating the selections you like most is fine.

Becoming intoxicated is considered okay for men. It is viewed as a way to relax and have a good time. However women should not become drunk. On my most recent trip home i sat next to a gentleman who had just spent one month in China. When I asked him how his trip went he told me that it improved a great deal after he had gotten drunk with his chinese associates as they viewed this as a sign of his trust in them.

When i asked what he missed the most being away so long he replied, " that people in amerca don't spit so much". I laughed because this kind of behavior is so obviously at odds with American habits.

One of the most difficult parts of the dining experience for r me has been getting used to the very different table manners. Belching and slurping is acceptable at the table. Chinese people will also spit or blow their noses directly onto the street or sidewalk. While we believe this is disgusting, their perspective is that using a handkerchief and tucking it in your pocket is disgusting.

There is one final thing that you should be aware of. The Chinese do not mind being crowded. Pushing and cutting lines is a way of life. It is frustrating when you are not prepared for it, but try to be patient and prepare yourself especially at the airport.

Respect for Culture:

The Chinese are proud of their culture, as we are of ours, and will appreciate your respect for their customs and manners. Always try to represent the best of American culture when you travel, accepting that all cultures have something special to offer. There is no nation or people in the world that should better understand this than the American people.