Chinese Fortune Cookies from Granny

Steven West
Steven West, Yahoo! Contributor Network
Jul 8, 2011 "Share your voice on Yahoo! websites. Start Here."

On a beautiful, sunny day, what could be better than having an ice cold drink and a fortune cookie? Time to crack open your fortune cookie. Today, we have ten fortune cookie sayings from the Little Old Lady from Pasadena.

1. You're never too young to drive a hot rod.

2. Always drink milk with your cookies. Don't forget to wipe your mouth afterwards.

3. Never tell anyone that you like watching the Lawrence Welk show.

4. Having hot cocoa on a cold day is a real blessing.

5. Never get in the way of Granny unless you are prepared to eat her dust.

6. Never laugh at a person with a hip fracture.

7. You are older than the age of mankind. Time for your nap.

8. Fire trucks are red and so are your eyes. Get some sleep!

9. Never lie to Granny unless you want to be struck down by a falling anvil.

10. You may take away my home, but you shall never take away my bingo card.

Published by Steven West

I have a passion for creative writing and political discourse. Happily married for over 24 years, I have 2 children and work with special needs kids in the public schools. I enjoy making people laugh and sm...  View profile

6 Comments

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  • Delicia Powers7/12/2011

    All great granny lessons...;0)

  • Lady Samantha7/12/2011

    lol my grandmother HATES bingo. When they play bingo at the home she sits in her room and reads. lol. this was a fun read!

  • Mary Oberg7/10/2011

    Fun ones to read!

  • LetsCook7/9/2011

    These are great...I remember hearing a few of these when I was younger. Thanks!

  • Lori Gunn7/9/2011

    This is very funny, especially the last one - that bingo card is doggoned important! :)

  • Mike Powers7/9/2011

    This was really a fun read. Thanks!

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