Chinese Fortune Cookies from a Teacher

Time to go back to school. Wouldn't it be nice to take a break and crack open a fortune cookie to see what pearls words of wisdom are coming from your teacher? As luck would have it, now is your chance.

1. The Golden Rule should never be mistaken for the Golden Arches at McDonald's.
2. It is better to open your textbook to learn than to text messages to gossip.
3. Cramming for a test will just lead to stomach cramps.
4. Screaming at the top of your lungs in school will make you look like a silly fool.
5. You shall soon find a missing tooth in your mashed potatoes. It is not a happy meal toy.
6. It is unwise to raise your hand during the middle of an important exam to go to the bathroom.
7. Just because you like the looks of the French horn doesn't mean that you are capable of playing it in the school band.
8. Making a pyramid of gum wads is not a form of ancient art.
9. Never wipe your snot on your teacher's clothes unless you want to pay a friendly visit to the main office.
10. You can not call in sick if you have run out of eyeliner and makeup.
11. Never vomit on the shoes of the principal. She will not be amused.
12. Lady Gaga was not one of the Founding Fathers. Do not write this on your history exam.
13. Never gargle with the chemicals that you use in your chemistry class.
14. Wearing a shirt that says School Sucks will not impress your teacher.
15. Do not plan to play Guitar Hero in your gym class. Your gym instructor will be angry and will have to do an additional ten laps around the gym.