Choosing Not to Have Children

Have you ever been on a job or at a social event where EVERYONE had a pile of kids (not just one or two, I mean a PILE)? Regardless of being married or single, have you ever been drilled as to why you don't have kids, particularly if you're female? Do you ever feel totally out of your element or like you're the ONLY one in the world with no kids?

Well, now you're not alone.

The No Kidding organization (www.nokidding.net), founded in 1984 by Jerry Steinberg, is an international club for anyone who has never been a parent and isn't planning to be.
There's currently 44 chapters in four countries (including Canada and the United States). And each chapter determines its own fee structure according to its needs. Estimated membership is between 5,000-10,000 and is very diverse. There are singles and couples, various religions (and not), all zexual orientations, and people from all across the political and financial spectrums represented.
Vincent Ciaccio, the organization's strategic planning director, conducted a study revealing what motivates some people to be child free.

Among his findings:

The reasons for being non-parents were not wanting to sacrifice time, privacy, or personal space for children, having no compelling reason to have them, actively not wanting children around, being perfectly content with pets, and seeing the effects of children or family/friends.

Three subgroups emerged from this: Those concerned with the effects of childrearing on their lifestyle, those that just didn't like children, and those concerned about the environment and their own misgivings about their parenting ability.

And there were two other groups: Transitional Women-They put off having children until it was too late, or had planned to have children when a certain goal was reached (financial or educational) had been reached, at which point other factors made the tming unsuitable for having a child.
Transformative Women-They are intentionally child free,motivated by the desire not to be a parent, and enjoy the time and focus they can give to their other relationships and their careers.
(Ciaccio's study involved generally college-educated, high earning Causasian women. I personally have spoken to a wider demographic (or spectrum); 100% agree with the study subjects.)

The child free are strong advocates of parental responsibility, both in having children (You would not believe the vast numbers of men out here who seem to have sired at least fifty different kids from the Eastern seaboard to the California coast...with at least fifty different women.) and for the children's personalities and actions. They feel that people should know what parenting involves BEFORE having children. If more men or women knew or were taught this beforehand, many more would be child free. Many children's behavior problems can be attributed to poor parenting. (If left unchecked, a behavior problem can and often develop into serious criminal activity.)

And how many times have you heard a parent say this: "If I'd only knew, I'd done things differently," "I should have waited till I finished (high) school, then had my kids", "I should have been married first." Would've, Could've, Should've. So why didn't you?
Many of the child free feel that parents have little to be complaining or belly-aching about how hard it is (And they get tired of listening to an endless stream of it.) Those who are parents have chosen that lifestyle of their own free will (99% of the time).

Many child free individuals and couples are deeply concerned with overpopulation, pollution, scarcity of food and water, etc. They feel that people should make attempts to plan their family size and since large families DO use more resources, they should pay in more taxes.

The child free would like restaurants, movie theaters, and apartment buildings to have areas that DON'T cater to kids (Many DO NOT hate children, but would just like to have a meal or live in a peaceful environment without being forced to endure screaming, hollering, temper tantrums,, diaper changes or lack of potty training, loud parties and music, constant cell phone use, and in some cases, gang activity-It's bad enough when grown-ups do this! )

And of course, the child free do not want to be discriminated against in the workplace or in everyday life. And they do not appreciate stereotypical attitudes or statements directed at them, such as "You're being selfish", "All women should be mothers", "You'll change your mind about having kids", "But you seem so mature!". "Are you retarded?", "You're supposed to have kids, it's in the Bible", and "What's wrong with you?", among other choice gems.

There are and have been many famous and notable child free people. A partial list would include: DILBERT cartoonist Scott Adams, NEW YORKER cartoonist and Addams Family creator Charles Addams, Louisa May Alcott, Marty Allen, Laurie Anderson, Marian Anderson, Susan B. Anthony, Louis Armstrong, V.C. Andrews, Jane Austen, Max Baer Jr. , Bob Barker, Kathy Bates, Beethoven, Lara Flynn Boyle, Helen Gurley Brown, Delta Burke, Pat Buchanan, Kim Catrall, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Richard Chamberlain, Coco Chanel, Stockard Channing, Julia Child, George Clooney, Copernicus, John Corbett, Simon Cowell, Tim Curry, Leonardo de Vinci, Ellen Degeneres, Dana Delaney, Bo Derek, Loretta Devine, Emily Dickinson, Fran Dresher, Amelia Earhart, T.S. Eliot, Linda Evans, Chow Yun-Fat, Ralph Fiennes, Eva Gabor, Greta Garbo, Ava Gardner, Gloria Gaynor, Anthony Geary, Althea Gibson, Jeff Goldblum, Hugh Grant, Arsenio Hall, Daryl Hall, Daryl Hanah, Warren G. Harding, Debbie Harry, Katherine Hepburn, Milton Hershey, Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., Bonnie Hunt, Joan of Arc, Elton John, Jack Johnson, Helen Keller, King Louis XVI, Dean Koontz, Albert Kroc, Jay Leno, Richard Lewis, Patty Loveless, Hattie McDaniel, Ian McKellen, Christine McVie, Bill Maher, Steve Martin, Wink Martindale, Freddie Mercury, George Michael, Alyssa Milano, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Helen Mirren, Margaret Mitchell, Mike Myers,Ralph Nader, Stevie Nicks, Sir Isaac Newton, Florence Nightingale, Rudolph Nureyev, Rosa Parks, Dolly Parton, MInnie Pearl, Bernadette Peters, Plato, Edgar Allan Poe, Colin Quinn, Robin Quivers, Raffi, Bonnie Raitt, Joey Ramone, Lou Reed, Janet Reno, Condoleezza Rice, Cliff Richards, Miranda Richardson, Norman Rockwell, Rebecca Romijn, Dr. Lee Salk, Diane Sawyer, Maurice Sendak, George Bernard Shaw, Kate Smith, Lemony Snicket (RN: David Handler), Gloria Steinem, Patrick Swayze, Wanda Sykes, Quentin Tarantino, Toni Tennille, Marlo Thomas, Lily Tomlin, Randy Travis, Vivian Vance, Luther Vandross, Christopher Walken, Ethel Waters, John Waters, Dawn Wells, Mae West, Betty White, Walt Whitman, Barry Williams, Lucinda Williams, August Wilson, Oprah Winfrey, Virginia Woolf, Orville and Wilbur Wright, Yanni, Dwight Yokam, Babe Didrikson Zaharias, Billy Zane, Stephanie Zimbalist, and Emile Zola, among others.

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