Choosing My Path

Dear Lord, there comes a time sometimes when even though we know what others want us to do, we still must choose our own way and our own path. My path is through you Lord. Unfortunately, I am losing ground and I am losing friendships and the heartache that this path has caused me seems unbearable at times. But, your path is the path I take, and it is the path that has brought me to here. I like here.

Even with all the struggles and all the pain and the crazy roller coaster emotions. I like here. Here is good, here is always good. Because the other alternative would be to no longer be here. I want to be, so I am here. I could not understand the fickleness that I was feeling, and I finally realized that fickleness was not mine. Learning to differentiate the fickleness in the air and learning to feel it, acknowledge it, and most important not make it my own has been the lesson for 2009. How easy it is to get caught up in the feelings that you feel around you and get lost in them. The craziness is not realizing they are not your own.

Dear Lord, there comes a time when you have to decide what path to choose. Do you decide that path that is good for others but not necessarily the best for you? I was confused and I was lost. Then it came to me, I choose you Lord. Your way, your path, and your ways are rather simple and clearly stated. Your way got me to here, your way has filled my life with beautiful experiences, and your way has brought much joy through all my struggles and through all my heartaches. Your way Lord, I lost sight of that, the universal feeling was that you way was constricting me, limiting my growth, and hampering my need for ambition. Truth is, it was constricting them, limiting their growth, and hampering their needs and their pursuit of their ambitions.

Those nameless and faceless needs and ambitions have no name, and have no face to me. It finally hit me, the lesson was not to see, hear, learn, or know their names or faces. Once I stopped focusing on the faces I could not see and the names I could not remember, deeper understanding is a gift that I am grateful to have received from you. It is an understanding that was once found as child, an understanding that as an adult brings even more joy , peace, and freedom than I could have ever imagined. Because as an adult, you know longer see the world the same as a child, but to be able to experience the joy and peace that only a child can feel, and to experience that as an adult. Lord I am grateful. It is my path, has always been my path, and will always be my path. Amen