Choosing the Perfect Bridesmaid Present

When I got married, my bridesmaids were there to hold my hands when I cried over the early construction of our reception location (they'd promised not to start for another month!). They were there to print funny messages on M&Ms for me as a pick-me-up, and to generally reassure me that everything would be fine. When you're getting married, every decision is stressful. There is an innate fear of choosing the wrong linens, the wrong ceremony music, and of being embarrassed by the best man's speech. Once you get engaged, you worry about everything until the moment you walk down the aisle. Unfortunately, even in what is supposed to be one of life's most blissful occasions, some brides can't let go. The brides who learn to relax and love every moment of the reception often have a few people in their corner who helped them get to their special day intact, their bridesmaids. When it came time to purchase my bridesmaid gifts, I wanted to do something very special.

I went to Things Remembered, a retail store that specializes in personalized gifts. I purchased compacts that I had engraved with their first initial only, as none of my three bridesmaids were married , and I wanted it to be something they would have for a long time. I then purchased small purses in a neutral color for each of them, and wrapped them up together. I thought I had done extremely well, but the friends that I told were horrified. Apparently I had it backwards, and you were supposed to get something that they would have for the ceremony. Always one to go against the grain, and not really carrying what kind of jewelry anybody wore, I went out and purchased slippers for all of them to wear at the reception. They're still talking about the gifts to this day, and all of them still have their compacts. As an old-fashioned person, I think engraved gifts, from a store like Things Remembered (www.thingsremembered.com), make a long-lasting impression. Recently, however, I have seen several other gift ideas that I would like to share.

A very popular bridesmaid gift is a "Circle of Friendship" personalized bracelet, usually with crystals that are the same color of the bridesmaid's gown, and engraved with the woman's first initial. You can find these on many websites, such as My Wedding Favors (www.myweddingfavors.com). They retail for approximately $25.00 to $30.00.

Another popular trend is a personalized toiletry case or monogrammed jewelry case. These span a wide range of prices, usually starting at approximately $10.00, and can cost anywhere up to $75.00. While bridal websites are a great place to find these for a steal, websites like Pottery Barn (www.potterybarn.com), Eddie Bauer (www.eddiebauer.com) and L.L. Bean (www.llbean.com) sell these cases, including the monogramming, for not much more. They are of a higher quality and will last longer.

One of the top-selling gifts for a winter-wedding bridesmaid is a cashmere scarf or shawl. They're luxurious and useful. Why not take it a step further and have it monogrammed for her? You can do this at websites like American Bridal (www.americanbridal) or Wedding Stand (www.weddingstand.com). The prices are $30.95 and $36.00, respectively.

Are you having a summer wedding? Why not give your bridesmaids beach bags. You can find fun colorful ones at Target (www.target.com) for as inexpensive as 18.99, and then fill them with flip-flops, a beach towel, and sunscreen. You could even add a cover-up. Do you like the beach bag idea, but want them to be more personal? Monogrammed totes are available at a host of places, such as Lands End (www.landsend.com), for as little as $15.50 for the smallest tote. You can even get different colors for each bridesmaid.

Are you getting married abroad? Or do you simply have some extra cash? If you have a wedding party, why not gift them digital cameras as a useful bridesmaid gift? This is truly a gift that keeps on giving. Hundreds of cameras are available at www.amazon.com. You can even purchase them in "girly" colors such as pink or purple!

Some brides choose an individual gift to suit each bridesmaid. Not everyone has to receive the same present, and thoughtful presents mean a lot to the recipient. A friend who loved taking care of her nails received a certificate for a manicure and pedicure. Another who had always wanted to visit the Four Seasons was given a certificate for an afternoon tea. One woman obsessed with a particular store received a beautiful serving bowl from that store.

Do you have budgetary concerns with your wedding? A friend who got married in a garden ceremony, on an extremely tight budget, gave each bridesmaid a planter and a package of seeds. Another, who was artistic, gave hand-painted coasters. Yet another, who worked as a personal chef, gave each of her bridesmaids a certificate for a full week of home-cooked dinners. Each one of them cashed in their coupon when they had their first child. One of the most thoughtful bridesmaid gifts I've ever seen was an engraved silver frame that said, "Thank You." The bride had her wedding photographer take a picture of her with each of the bridesmaids, and then purchased a 5x7 photo for each woman.

As a bridesmaid, I've received a beautiful clutch purse, earrings, and most recently, a lovely necklace. Interestingly, in every case, the note that was attached meant far more to me than the gift that was purchased. I'm not being ungrateful, it was just that reading stories about what my friendship meant to my friends was a gift in and of itself. No matter what your budget, no matter what your idea, please enclose a note to your bridesmaid not only saying thank you, but telling her how much she means to you.

The point of all of these ideas is that it is important to remember, even though it is your day as the bride, to be gracious. Say thank you to your bridesmaids. Show your appreciation for their effort, love, and attention to your details. It isn't so much what you get them, it's that you remember them on your special day.