Chores and Kids: Tasks for Every Age and Stage

Assigning chores to your kids can serve a much greater purpose than simply getting them to help around the house. "Kids who are not assigned chores may become less independent, less motivated and less responsible," says Joanne McNulty, a child and family counselor. "They may lack valuable time management skills, and families without chores may be less cohesive."

Licensed professional counselor Takesha Shannon agrees. "I believe it is essential for parents to assign their children chores. It teaches responsibility and it gives children a sense of accomplishment," she says. "Additionally, I find that children like to feel that they are contributing and helping. I've had many children say to me, 'Mommy says I'm a good helper.' It builds self-esteem and gives them confidence in their abilities."

Shannon also stresses that the skills children learn from doing chores can help them later on when they become adults. "Overall, chores are an invaluable resource to parents who want to raise responsible, well-adjusted and confident children who become self-reliant adults." Shannon has the following advice to parents regarding the assignment of chores to their kids:

1. "They must be age appropriate - if not, you set your children up to fail, which could lead to feelings of helplessness and diminished self-esteem.

2. Successful completion of chores should be rewarded with praise and encouragement to reinforce these behaviors and increase self-esteem. Some parents may choose to reward with monetary gifts or other tangible items, which is fine, but hearing your mother or father tell you that you have done a great job and they are very proud of you is invaluable!

3. Parents must make their expectations clear! Explain and show your children how you want each chore completed - i.e., how, when and what - that way, your children know what is expected of them."

So which chores are appropriate for your children? The Child Development Institute outlines the ages and stages of child development formerly identified by developmental biologist Jean Piaget. These, combined with practical tips from other child development experts, are useful in determining which chores to assign to your kids.

Ages 18-24 Months
Common behavioral characteristics: Observing and imitating the behavior of others.

• McNulty notes that children younger than 2 years of age can be introduced to the process of completing chores. "Children under 2 years of age may not be ready physically to do actual chores," she says. "But at this age, kids begin to enjoy imitating others. Parents can take advantage of this stage by encouraging their toddlers to imitate them during chore time. For instance, the toddler can push a play vacuum along side the vacuuming parent. Or, parents can provide plastic dishware that the child can move from one box into another box while the parent empties the dishwasher. The child will begin to participate indirectly in doing chores while fine-tuning motor skills."

Ages 2-4 Years
Common behavioral characteristics: Use of symbolism; increased ability to relate specific objects to events, activities or emotions

• For the 2- to 4-year-olds, McNulty suggests such chores as light dusting, placing napkins on the dinner table and putting dirty laundry in a hamper as age appropriate. It is, however, important to note that children in this age category should merely be assisting with chores and therefore under close supervision of an adult.

Ages 4-7 Years
Common behavioral characteristics: Curiosity level increases; judgments are made based on perception

• Clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst Dr. David Goldberg has the following suggestion for assigning chores to kids in this age group: "4-, 5-, 6- and 7-year-olds can sort laundry, put away their stuff, set the table, empty the dishwasher (especially the silverware), help make a shopping list, empty wastebaskets, carry things to and from the table, and vacuum."

Ages 7-12 Years
Common behavioral characteristics: Increased sense of logic and problem-solving ability

• As children grow older, it is important for parents to allow them some input when assigning chores. "Kids involved in chore planning will develop a greater sense of personal responsibility for the chores and are more likely to complete chores without resistance," McNulty says. "Participating in chore planning teaches life skills such as teamwork, negotiating and compromising," she adds.

Ages 12 Years and Older
Common behavioral characteristics: Further development of logical reasoning; ability to think in abstract terms; increased ability to learn from mistakes

• By the time children reach puberty, they are typically able to handle more household chores independently, as well as take on more complex tasks. Parents should assign shores accordingly. "Older children do more adult tasks, like cooking, running errands, laundry and earning their own money," Dr. Goldberg says.

One final bit of advice is offered by the Center for Effective Parenting: If your children fall short of completing their assigned chores, don't do the work for them. If you do, you'll be teaching your children that you won't follow through on what you say; and your children will think they can always get other people to do things for them if they just hold out long enough.

Sources:

Center for Effective Parenting. Children and Chores. Retrieved on Jan. 21, 2010 from http://www.parenting-ed.org/html/html/chores.htm.

Child Development Institute. Stages of Intellectual Development in Children and Teenagers. Retrieved on Jan. 22, 2010 from http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/development/piaget.shtml.

McNulty, J. (2010). Age Appropriate Chores for Kids. Retrieved on Jan. 21, 2010 from http://www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com/chore_list.htm.

Interviews conducted via email with Joanne McNulty (www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com), Takesha Shannon of TMS Counseling, LLC (www.takeshashannon.com/TMS_Counseling/Welcome.html) and Dr. David Goldberg (www.drgoldberg.net/).