Chris Berman's Worst Nicknames
Ok I have to admit it. At one point in time I liked Chris Berman. I even became a fan of Andre Rison because of Berman's nickname for him, Andre "Bad Moon" Rison. But Chris Berman has just gotten out of hand. Now his nicknames are such a reach that it's a ridiculous. What's even worse is that the nicknames are so long and he spends so much time on them that he usually gets behind on the play by play of the highlight. Pretty soon he's talking about a highlight that already happened four plays ago.
So in honor of horrible Chris Berman is here are some of Chris Berman's worst creations:
Juan "Speedy" Gonzales - I don't like this one just because it doesn't fit him. Juan Gonzales was a huge homerun hitter that was slow as Christmas, not a speedster.
"Big" Ben McDonald - Wow, his nickname is "Big". That is so original and creative. Let me guess you also named Superman because he's a man that's super.
Jim Gott "a win" - A) If Jim got a win he actually wasn't doing his job, he's a closer he should be getting saves. B) Jim Gott already had a better name Jim "Gotcha" Gott.
Darryl Strawberry "Shortcake" - You're comparing Darryl Strawberry to Strawberry Shortcake!? Blasphemy!
Stan Javier "self a Merry Little Christmas" - It's a big stretch to try and make Javier sound like have your, at least if you know how to correctly pronounce Javier. And it seems pretty stupid to tell people to have a Merry Christmas when the baseball season is in the spring and summer.
Tom "Heard it through the" Glavine - Sorry but Glavine is not pronounced like Grapevine.
Greg Gagne "with a spoon" - I bet Greg will forever be thankful that he has a nickname that involves someone voluntarily gagging themselves.
Joe "Actual Retail" Price - Oh dear.
Mariano "Slam" Duncan - Might be better if he actually played basketball, but not really a good name for a baseball player.
Bob "Intentional" Walk - Wow, that's a GREAT name for a pitcher.
Bruce "Eggs" Benedict - Nothing strikes fear in the heart of pitchers like a breakfast dish.
Lance "You Sunk My" Blankenship - What's worse, having a nickname that is a reference to a board game or having a nickname that says you have sunken, which probably doesn't say much about your athletic ability.
Scott "Supercalifragilousthatexpealia" Brosius - What's next? Kelly "A Spoonful of Sugar makes the Medicine go" Downs?
Larry "Grandmama" Johnson - For those of you who don't know where this nickname comes from, there was once a basketball player named Larry Johnson. For a series of commercials and a guest appearance on TV show Family Matters, he dressed up like an old woman named "Grandmama". Chris Berman decided to give the same name to NFL player Larry Johnson. Now this is stupid. You can not take one player's nickname and give it to somebody else just because they have the same real life name. If there was another Michael Jordan, you wouldn't call him "Air Jordan" because there was already an "Air Jordan". Plus there's the whole thing where Grandmama is completely irrelevant to the NFL Larry Johnson.
Published by Lee Andrew Henderson - Featured Contributor in Sports
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- Glavine is not pronounced like Grapevine
- Grandmama has nothing to do with the NFL Larry Johnson
- Juan Gonzalez is not speedy.
12 Comments
Post a CommentWhat a dork !! EVERY name Chris comes up with is NOT meant to stick !! It's entertainment...and it's FUN...:))) Let it go and write a real article ..:)))
MY PICKS:
Wallpaper and Peyton Manning.
Ben Three All Beef Roethlisbergers
Paul Red, White and Tagliabue
Anthony Lil Kim
Brett My Farve-it
Drew Ocean Brees
Chuck "New Kids on the" Knoblach, Brook Jacoby "Wan Kanobi", Eric "Sleeping With" Beniemy. These are just three examples of absolute classics. You DO prefer the company of men.
I'm going to go out on a limb here.. and assume that you not only enjoy, but prefer the company of men.
i was hoping to find a website dedicated to the suckfest that is chris berman. he ruins everything he is on. the home run derby is now unwatchable, as are sunday sportcenters during football season. were here for the sports chris, not to hear verbally brandish how amazing you think you are. blowhole
How about some good ones:
Chris Fuamatu One Bad Ma'afala
He's not yours, he's Arvydas Sabonis
Jim Gott In
Get Buck in Here Showalter
John Soaking Wetteland
And Finally
Vlade Dahdy We Likes To Pahdy Divac
Said
You're right, Garnett, Iverson, and Jordan have boring initial nicknames. Except they are also, The Big Ticket, The Answer, and His Airness (or Air Jordan).
your insane...chris berman is a genious and does a great job entertaining people(which is hi job that he makes a living off of)...you can think what you want and put your crappy articles that you make your living off of but if you ever found something better to write about you could probably move out from under the bridge...
Seriously, lighten up. You miss the whole point with his names. If you watch Chris Berman, you know that his names dont really make much sense; but thats the point. Theyre supposed to be kooky and funny. He's not trying to pin these names on the players for life. At least he can show some creativity in his job, which is more than i can say for you with your criticism. "Thats a GREAT name..." "Oh dear."
I'd have to say this is a failure of an article. Most of the ones you posted aren't that bad