Chris Brown's "F.A.M.E." Is Undeserving of Existence

I'll make this short: the Chris Brown album "F.A.M.E." is a little boy's ego driven rule the world sex fantasy, that seems to give away just how moronic and inexperienced the little boy is. This isn't music, this is an audio crime.

"Deuces": Lazy, stoned in the recording studio slow jam about saying bye bye to a drama queen because that stuff is for the birds. And they make a big deal about making a peace sign I guess, flipping up their fingers, their deuces. If people pick this up and start going around showing the number two with their fingers and saying deuces a whole bunch, I hope smacking people who do that is the next fad.

"Up To You": "Yeah, whoaoaoao, groan, moan," is he singing this on the toilet? Are girls seduced by slow jams sung from the toilet bowl? Snap your fingers, imagine some rain, ponder where Boys To Men are, and groan, moan some whoas and you too can be singing "Up To You."

"No BS": A song about being horny and because he is singing slow about it this means women should find him romantic as he tells them to come over and service him. He's going to give it to them, but they need to forget the BS and I guess not judge him for being a self-centered jerk? He's going to do it all, but someone singing a song like this seems more like a little kid who does even know what real sex is.

"Look At Me Now": He talks and laughs at the beginning of the song, he sounds like a twelve year old girl. Some whisper rap from Brown trying to be Busta Rhymes, gives away to Busta Rhymes who booda-badda bings in only the way Busta Rhymes can. Busta passes the baton to Lil Wayne, who like Brown, is kind of lost amongst the beepy boopy beats. "Look at me now. I'm getting paper." Chris Brown, you've been famous for quite a while now, you just now getting around to making paper, and still juvenile enough you have to brag about it? Go buy a Busta Rhymes album instead of this, Chris Brown isn't as "fresh" as he giggles about and says he is on this track.

"She Ain't You": Sings about using a girl for sex, but he would trade her in if he could because he wants the girl he used to have a romance with. I doubt the girl he is directing the song to will find it so romantic to be told he is thinking of her while having sex with others. What a pig.

"Say It With Me": The robo enhanced vocals on this track almost sounded like Weird Al getting down. Another sound effect seems like a shout out to Michael Jackson grabbing his testicles to scream. This song seems to be a shot at a dance track, but it's too skitzo.

"Yeah 3x": Electro dance pop track, guess you can get your bump on with it, break out the glow sticks, but don't try and listen for any meaningful lyrics.

"Next To You": This is a duet with Justin Bieber. A sappy bump beat of a slow song, nothing stands out about it, but just like Busta Rhymes earlier I vote if you like this go buy a Justin Bieber album instead; though I've never listened to A Bieber album yet, still, I'll blindly recommend it is better than Chris Brown.

"All Back": I can only understand every other word. A ballad that makes Chris Brown seem like he is singing with his tongue inflamed by poison ivy or something. I am guessing an electronic, pretend I can sing machine is on warble mode here.

"Wet The Bed": Water drops against the background beats and this song about working up a sweaty sex frenzy with licking and Chris Brown is a big fail as Chris Brown sings about putting her legs behind her head. Is that romantic? Is that even comfortable? Dude, WET THE BED means you just peed yourself. Chris Brown is an idiot, I'm sorry, I don't know him, I am judging based off of the music, Chris Brown's music is an idiot.

"Oh My Love": Oh my crap. Seriously, I feel like going on strike here as a reviewer and just throwing the feces back at Chris Brown. Fast tempo, nasally lyrics about "I'm a bad man, blah blah blah" and then a spinning dance beat. Sound like a bad nerd.

"Should've Kissed You": He left her standing DARE and he regret it. A pop ballad with some annoying claps and weak beep boop beats looped around it. This song needs to hang itself with the loop.

"Beautiful People": More electro dance rave music and more "whoaoooooooh." Live life, let love inside, beauty deep inside, don't let them bring you down, throw in as many other motivational clich©s as you can and hope some fat girl with zits and braces finds this song and feels inspired enough to fork over money.