Christ is Not the Reason for the Season

Let's be honest. Christmas is as much about Christianity as Mardi Gras is about Catholicism.

The whole self-righteous defense Christians put up in defense of Christmas is nothing more than a guilty reflex, much like a child whipping his hand out of the cookie jar swearing he wasn't stealing.

Trying to discuss this subject with those humans still frighteningly close to apes on the evolutionary ladder is the social equivalent of announcing that you have herpes. The lines of open discourse, logic, and reason are often abandoned in favor of a snappy, "Why you gotta be such a kill joy? You're just a bitter, spiteful, hateful little man."

On the contrary. I'm full of vim, vigor, optimism and life. I'd just like that sector of the populace living in a constant state of delusion to, at least in this one small area, abandon pretense.

Say it with me now. In short, Christmas exists for one reason, and that's to justify your ability to run through money like toilet paper.

Try disputing this all you want but it won't do any good. The amount of cash spent this time of year under the guise of celebrating some man you turned into a messiah after the fact is obscene. You use the birth of Christ as an excuse to do what American's do best: overindulge in a truly disgusting fashion.

So hear me now. I state declaratively that your most sacred holy day is in fact one big horse and pony show created for the sole purpose of giving you a guilt free day of excess. That, in fact, the entire thing is an elaborate window dressing stolen from now defunct religions and cults in order to bind together your fledgling religion and give you license to spend money, get fat, justify war, and pollute the Earth.

What strikes me most about this time of year is that it becomes very convenient for you to parade around spouting words you clearly have no interest in such as peace, love, grace and forgiveness.

I find it particularly ironic because if you had your way we'd be declaring holy war on the entire Arabian Peninsula in the name of your god.

Obviously, this draws a stark contrast to your stated purpose of Christmas.

The logical conclusion of course is that you completely fail to live up to the tenets of your religion on an amazingly consistent basis, further, that you have no interest in living up to those tenets. Compounding the problem is your ability to justify any aberrant behavior by gaining imaginary absolution from a fictitious man in the sky.

So I like to call Christmas a shining example of religious selective hearing.

Were you really about the things you purport to be on Christmas this world would be a much, much different place.

Don't believe me? Chew on this. Were you truly what you professed to be about, then when days like September 11th, 2001 rolled around, you would have asked yourself, as a follower of this religion, what should I do. You would have come to one startling conclusion. That's right. You would have, get this, forgiven the terrorists.

Yet I heard no prominent Christian leaders calling for a simple act of non-aggression and forgiveness, and I saw no great church coalition protesting when we invaded Afghanistan.

Because this sort of thing happens on a regular basis I am able to declaratively say that your entire celebration of Christmas has nothing to do with Christ, Jesus, god, the holy spirit, or any other things you claim it's about, and is in fact a giant social engine for self-serving excess.

So go on and peel those Jesus is the Reason for the Season bumper stickers off your car and go admit why you're spending all that dinero: because you're addicted to it. You'll feel much better, I promise.