Christian Character: My Personal Growth Story

Personal growth isn't something we recognize while it's happening. It's in retrospect that we see the hand of God working in our lives. Looking back I can clearly see the stages of spiritual growth that I experienced, especially in my youth.

Allow me to take you on a journey through time to 1957. I was seven years old and the church was a good thirty-minute walk from where I lived. We were desperately poor. The four-room house where I was raised had no running hot water and an outhouse that stood about thirty feet from the back door. My parents never attended church but Sunday mornings were so boring to me that going to church seemed better than helping Mom shell peas or watching Dad cut the grass.

As I got older my church visits became few and far between until I became a teenager and stopped going altogether. At seventeen I met a serviceman. Less than two weeks later we went to city hall and got married. Just a few months after that, we became fugitives.

Life was just one big adventure to me at this stage. I was a thief and a liar and cared about no one but myself. For three years we left a trail of bad checks and robberies over three states fancying ourselves the modern day Bonnie and Clyde. My husband was running from the military and couldn't risk the chance of getting a regular job which would disclose our location. He got odd cash-paying jobs while I worked as a waitress under a bogus name and social security number.

We usually never stayed in one place for very long but when I got pregnant we had no choice. My husband got a job with a painter and supported us until I gave birth. A few weeks later he said we had to leave because we used our real names when our son was born so the law would surely be coming for us.

It was then when we began to realize the foolishness of what we had done. We could never stay very long in one place and a simple traffic violation could send us both to jail. I began talking to my husband about trying to settle down but he was too afraid of getting caught and we continued to run from one place to another.

As God would have it I became pregnant again and we moved into a small trailer in a quiet community one block from a Christian church. My husband got a job with a tile setter and I stayed home with our son. I became bored sitting around the house each day and one Sunday I decided to walk to the church around the corner.

The minute I entered the church I was flooded with memories of my childhood experiences. It was a different building but everything else was exactly the same. The sounds and smells were so very familiar and people began coming up to me, shaking my hand, welcoming me to the church. But unlike my childhood experience, I listened when the preacher began to speak and ultimately accepted Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord of my life.

As the weeks went by I attended morning and evening worship services and Wednesday night prayer meetings as well. Many of our neighbors attended the church and we became good friends. My husband wouldn't have anything to do with the church and I prayed persistently for him. Then the pastor dropped by for a visit and my husband threw him out of the house! Needless to say I was a little embarrassed to go back but my love for the Lord allowed me to overcome it.

During my last trimester my husband began talking about how we would have to be ready to leave once the baby was born. The thought was so disturbing to me that I couldn't eat or sleep for worrying about it. I prayed fervently to the Lord about our situation and how our future looked worse than our past because I knew it was only a matter of time before we would be caught. We couldn't drag two kids all over the country. What about when they got to school age?

We had never told anyone about our situation with the law because of the chance that someone could turn us in. And as the days passed and my term drew near I felt utterly helpless. No one could help me because no one knew the situation.

Then one day I became overwhelmed with helplessness. Feeling all alone in my trouble I thought to myself, no one cares because no one knows. At that very moment a clear and distinct voice said to my mind, "I know and I care." My whole body was suddenly flooded with a feeling of peace and I began looking around for Jesus. It was as if He was right there with me! It was most certainly an experience I have never forgotten and probably never will.

I grew very close to God during the weeks that followed but still had no clue as to how or when He was going to help me. Then I began to feel this overpowering urge to tell the pastor about our situation. It had been three years and I had never told a soul. I hadn't contacted my own family who didn't even know I had given birth or that I was even alive!

With each prayer I kept telling the Lord that I was afraid of being caught and being separated from my husband and having him taken away from our son who was only two years old. Eventually, the conviction of the Holy Spirit was too strong to resist and I called the pastor and told him the whole story. Fear gripped me at first because I was afraid of what was going to happen but the Lord encouraged me to trust Him and I did.

I actually don't remember how long afterward that it happened but it was at least a week or so when the pastor and head deacon came calling on my husband. My body began to tremble when they came into the house because I knew that their visit had something to do with what I had told the pastor.

My husband was cordial at first. He had no idea that I had revealed our secret. Within moments the truth was out. My husband panicked and shouted at me to start packing. I didn't move. The pastor began to argue with him and the last time that happened my husband threw him out!

Before long the head deacon managed to calm my husband enough to explain to him that they had absolutely no intentions of turning him in. He told him that his son was a Major Chaplain in the army who knew a Captain attorney and that with the help of such high-ranking officers and the church backing him it would be in his best interest to turn himself in.

At first it looked like my husband was convinced and was going to cooperate but when they left he turned to me and said, "Pack your things. I'm NOT going to prison!"

I became empowered at that moment and calmly said, "Go if you have to but I'm staying here." It was the first time I had ever blatantly stood up to him. It surprised him so much at first that he didn't know what to say. He just stood there staring at me, and then he went into a rage. He began throwing things against the wall, cursing me, God, and the church. Moments later he ended up in tears.

He knew as well as I that it would someday come to this. We had ended our life of crime after our son was born and regretted all of the foolish things we had done but we couldn't undo them and didn't want to face the consequences even though we knew we deserved it. We had a child and another one on the way. Neither of us knew what to do. But God knew, and I told my husband that I was placing my trust in the Lord.

As it turned out my husband accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and after our daughter was born he turned himself in to the army. Within three months he was given an undesirable discharge and to our surprise no civil charges were brought against us.

Our families were ecstatic to finally learn of our whereabouts and many of them traveled several miles to be with us during our difficulties. It was finally over.

As I look back on the beginning of my life journey I can see how I was drawn into a life of selfish pleasure only to be chastised by God our Father who disciplines all His children. He gave me children of my own and a fear for their safety and well-being that was greater than the selfishness I had felt for my own self. He led me to that little church where He knew I would turn to His Son and accept the salvation that comes only through Him. I was less than twenty years old and my faith was weak yet He persuaded me to trust Him.

In conclusion let me say that the journey through my life and the spiritual growth-spurts I experienced become more clear as I look down through the paths that God has taken me through. Therefore, look back on your own life and take a close look at situations during your life that were difficult and trying. These are usually the periods when you experience the most spiritual growth. Examine them carefully for they can help you see the very hand of God working in your life. Exercises like this help us recognize certain patterns and give us a much better perspective when facing future difficulties.