"Christian Reading Always Carefully Keeps People Off Things" Blocks Access to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Preview

Protesters from Christian Reading Always Carefully Keeps People Off Things Ministries picketed outside the Campus theater when the Lewisburg, Pennsylvania cinema showed an early preview of the Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Police reports state that the situation got out of hand with Doctor Will Smith, advisor to the group chained himself to the door to keep people from going inside.

One ticket taker for the theater said, "It's just a bit of harmless entertainment. I don't see what the big deal is."

Local police arrived with a pair of bolt cutters bought from the largest Wal-Mart on the East coast found a few miles outside the small town community the contains Bucknell University. Officer Absert said, "I had to take the money out of my pay. Even though the borough believes in excessive taxation to help keep the riff-raff out of the community, they do not believe in funding the police department sufficiently."

Reverend Zeke Gage, leader of the controversial Christian group stood by his colleague. "He may have broken the laws of the land but by keeping people out of that theater to tarnish their souls to see such a paganistic work of Satan, he was doing exactly what the Good Lord wanted him to do."

It was not the first time the Campus Theater on Market street had been protested. When the Davinci Code was released a small group of Catholics stood respectfully on the other side of the street. CRACKPOT Ministries protesters adopting tactics borrowed from many street preachers and shouted at those entering the theater. "You're going to go straight to Hell if you watch that," chanted many of the CRACKPOTs trying to block entry.

"In many ways," said Andrea Johnson, "the protest is just a start for the nation wide protest we are planning when Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows hits bookstores across the country. We need to make sure we do it right. We will continue to block other cinemas showing this satanic film. We may have to burn down the drive through screens or destroy their film equipment, but acts of civil or uncivil disobedience are okay when they are conducted for God almighty."

With the film released in the theaters this Thursday, CRACKPOT has had to call in help from various Christian groups to help keep people from this extremely dangerous movie. Although problems with their rival group RABIES have caused them the two groups from working together in the past, Reverend Gage thought the in-your-face style was exactly what was needed to keep people from endangering their souls.