Christian Women: How to Be a Proverbs 31 Wife in a Modern World

There is much debate on what it means to be a 'good Christian wife'. Some believe that wifely submission means that a wife makes no decisions, isn't allowed a mind of her own, and has to be at the mercy of a controlling spouse. This is not the case. God expects wives to be able to handle money, to earn their own money (if desired), to be the overseers of their households, and to be able to make important decisions regarding their homes and lives.

One of the best descriptions of what it means to be a Godly wife can be found in the book of Proverbs. In Proverbs 31:10, the question is asked, 'A wife of noble character, who can find?', and goes on to say, 'she is worth far more than rubies'. Basically, announcing that if one manages to find a Godly wife, she is priceless. It implies that she is extremely valuable, so it would only stand to reason that she be treated valuably. What does it mean to be a Proverbs 31 wife in the 21^st century, though?

The passage continues in verses 11 and 12:

'Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.'

Godly wives have their husband's confidence. He knows she will not hurt his spirit, or betray him, and that she strives to give him everything God values; her patience, kindness, and love. A Proverbs 31 wife does not gossip or speak negatively about her husband publicly. She prays for him and protects his name. She doesn't complain about him. This is not always easy to refrain from, so if a wife needs to discuss her husband, she should do so only with a trusted Christian woman who is also married. She should be sure her confidant will provide scripturally-based advice, will not judge, and can keep a confidence. A Godly wife never complains to others about her husband while he is present. Also, she should never bring shame to her husband's name.

Proverbs 31:13-19 go on to explain how a wife of noble character treats her home:

'She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers'.

A modern day Proverbs 31 wife takes care of her home. She sees that everything is working smoothly, and makes purchases wisely. A wife of noble character sees that her family is fed wholesome, nutritious meals. A wife of the 21^st century may not need to wake up before dawn due to modern conveniences; however, she is still prepared for each day. She is wise with money, and contributes financially. If a wife does not work outside the home, she can contribute by using money wisely, and taking care with finances. Of course, most people don't have live-in help these days, so a modern Proverbs 31 wife should take care in maintaining positive relations with any service people, whether it is the lawn care providers, or the dry-cleaner. The message in the above verses communicates that she takes great pride and responsibility in the running of her home in order to bring glory to her husband and to their Godly life together.

(20) 'She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.'

A Godly wife is also kind to those less fortunate. She is altruistic and performs acts of kindness and giving to bring glory to God.

Proverbs 31:21-23 continues: 'When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.'

This conveys the message that wives of 'noble character' take such care of their home that they have no fear of adverse conditions. She makes sure her family's needs are always taken care of, and is resourceful. Many modern women are not skilled at sewing, however, wives can still choose carefully and wisely when purchasing household items, to see that their family is always prepared seasonally and financially for difficult times. Being clothed in 'fine linen and purple' refers to outward appearances. Godly wives make a good appearance for not only themselves and for God, but so that their husband's are respected. They do not make a show of themselves in clothing or appearance that may elicit gossip or criticism. Godly wives show through their appearance that their husband's are good providers to them and their children. Of course, modern women have many different styles and preferences, but the overall message is that a Godly wife knows she is not only representing herself in her dress and manner, but her family and husband as well. One of the ways she brings glory to her family as followers of God is through her dress and actions.

Proverbs 31:24-27 explains: 'She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.'

A modern Proverbs 31 wife is resourceful and steps right in to help her husband through financial difficulties while preserving his pride. She displays grace, strength, and acts dignified. A Godly wife is calm, unworried, and trusts in God to provide. She knows when to speak up and when to hold her tongue. A 'wife of noble character' is not bossy or self-righteous, but takes her instruction from God, and always considers her husband. She is not lazy, and she is always aware of the happenings of her household.

Finally, a Proverbs 31 wife is praised for her faithfulness in verses 28-31:

'Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.'

God blesses those who are faithful to His word, and wives who are faithful to their husbands. Wives who bring glory to their husbands bring glory to God. Her children admire and love her, and her husband is happy and lavishes praise upon her. People talk about her favorably, and she is rewarded by God.

Being a Proverbs 31 wife is not always an easy task, but it is a very rewarding one. It takes planning, organization, time management, frugality, wisdom, and strength. No one is perfect, but the more a wife prays for these traits and practices them to the best of her ability, the more God praises her for her efforts and rewards her with a loving, fulfilling marriage.