Christmas Drinking Song

Leslie got smashed up on Christmas Eve

While visiting her once removed in-laws

She cannot remember a damn thing

But Jacob tells us vodka was the cause

It began with three shots of Russian vodka

Coupled with some buffalo dip

Followed by wine and more appetizers

Which is why today she feels like sh-

CHRISTMAS MORNING

The in-laws and in-laws will soon arrive

As Leslie recuperates on the couch

They will be surprised she's even alive

While Jacob mans the kitchen cause she's a slouch

She owes the in-laws a cleaning service

And perhaps a brand new rug

Millie's car will get detailed

Leslie will curl up like a potato bug

Jacob, her husband, is not mad

Cause he's a very stand up guy

Their Christmas is now much more colorful

To laugh is much more fun than to cry

Here's to Leslie's quick recovery

We think she's a swell gal

If anyone ever offers me three shots of vodka

I will just tell them to go to he-