Christmas Gifts Lump of Coal

Haven't you always wanted to give someone special a lump of coal for Christmas? Well, you can. And a lump of coal is not just for the naughty either. Send a message to those who deserve it, and laugh with your friends; there is a lump of coal that is just right for everyone.

Product: Lump of Coal (an actual lump of coal)
Company: CoalGram
Price: Ten Dollars
Description: A real lump of 100 percent pure anthracite coal. Yes, for the price of several hundred pounds of coal, you can send a gift-wrapped lump of coal to the friend or enemy of your choice. This is either a great gag gift or a message of disapproval for naughty behavior.

Product: Lump of Coal (music album)
Company: Dead Line Records (Australia); First Warning Records (USA); RCA Records
Price: $35 new; $8 used (Amazon)
Description: A compilation album of Christmas music. Eleven songs: "Little Drummer Boy" (Hoodoo Gurus); "The First Noel" (Crash Test Dummies); "Step into Christmas" (The Wedding Present); "Blue Xmas" (Drunken Boat); "O Holy Night" (Divine Weeks); "Bring a Torch, Jeanette, Isabella"(Carnival Art); "Silent Night" (The Primitives); "O Little Town of Bethlehem" (Young Fresh Fellows); "Kings of the Orient" (The Odds); "Here Comes Santa Claus" (Clockhammer); "Twas the Night Before Christmas" (Henry Rollins). Produced in 1991.

Product: Lump of Coal (beer)
Company: Ridgeway Brewery (England)
Price: Depends upon your local distributor
Description: A 8% dark holiday bittersweet stout, the handiwork of master brewer Peter Scholey. Ridgeway brewery produces several other holiday themed beers, including Criminally Bad Elf (Barley Wine), Pickled Santa (English Ale), and Reindeer Droppings (Amber Ale).

Product: Lump of Coal (gift box)
Company: A Martha Stewart project
Price: Do it yourself project
Description: This is a gag box for putting something special in (typically jewelry). It is neat idea, though I am not sure how many of us would actually spend the time making it. And if you are a man, you might not even have the slightest clue where to get the materials for it (hexagonal boxes, crepe masking tape, fabric stiffener, glitter).

Product: The Lump of Coal (children book)
Company: HarperCollins
Written by Lemony Snicket; Illustrated by Brett Helquist
Price: $13
Description: 40 Pages. Ages 9 to 12. A Christmas tale of the adventures of a lump of coal in his quest to become an artist. The ending may or may not surprise your child, but they are sure to find it laugh out loud humorous.

Product: Santa Lump of Coal (an actual lump of coal)
Company: Santa's Lumps of Coal!
Price: $25
Description: An actual lump of coal in a plastic see-thur box. The company suggests that besides using it to frighten bad children, one could use it to liven up the holiday game of "rob the neighbor" (the white elephant game).

Product: Lump of Coal (soap)
Company: Perpetual Kid
Price: $6 (2.5 ounces)
Description: A vegan glycerin soap molded from casts of actual lumps of coal found in a rail yard. Shipped in a fabric bag with a "You've been naughty" tag. Scented to smell like Santa's Pipe (a blend of scents meant to smell like a blend of vanilla, patchouli, and honeyed pipe tobacco).

Product: Santa's Chocolate Lumps of Coal (chocolate candy)
Company: Candy Warehouse
Price: $69 (36 count box)
Description: Chunks of milk chocolate wrapped in black foil.

Product: Lump of Coal (an actual lump of coal)
Company: Oriental Trading
Price: $12 per dozen
Description: A lump of coal made into an ornament. The accompanying card says, "Someone was naughty and made Santa mad. So this hunk of coal is your gift, 'Cuz let's face it; you were bad."

As for myself, I have been bad beyond belief. If anyone finds a box of the discontinued Santa's Lump O Coal Licorice Candy, please send it to me. Merry Christmas.