Christmas Memories Past and Those to Come: What the Season Means to Me

When I think of the holidays, I think of family, love and fellowship. I come from a family that doesn't always get along. When it comes to the holidays, we can be civil to each other a few days out of the year.

When my grandmother was living, we would all gather at her house for each major holiday. Those were the days when we would see cousins, aunts, uncles and friends that we did not get to see any other time of the year. Well-wishers would bring by plates of home cooked food. The pies and cakes would smell so good. There would be music and dancing while grandma was finishing with the last of the sides she was making. It would not have been a holiday if someone wasn't cooking on the grill. If I could have, I would have made up a holiday just to have some ribs. Grandma always made her favorite secret sauce. She would not tell anyone what all she put in it, but that would not stop us from trying to get it out of her. I remember trying to make trays of cheese and crackers so that everyone would have something to snack on until the food was done. The grownups never really ate them. The other kids and I pretended like we were at a fancy dinner party. The punch was always homemade. We would take different fruit juices and mix them together. Of course, the grownups always had their alcohol that they picked up on the way there. Grandma's house was the holiday house.

While the holidays brought togetherness, it also brought on sad memories of the loved ones that were not there to celebrate with us. We would sit around and talk about what we remember about the ones who were missing. There was always someone who was missing due to illness and we would say a special prayer for them. Now that I am grown, I think about my grandmother and how things could have been better. I wonder if she truly knew that I loved her very much before she passed on. I have since moved out of the state where I was born and grew up in. I don't get to see my family often, but I think about them all year round.

I have a family of my own now. The holidays mean so much more to me now. My husband is deployed to Kuwait. While he was in basic training, he wasn't able to be here for Thanksgiving 2007. It hurt a little because I was not used to him being away on a holiday. I was also upset because I found out I was pregnant and he could not be here to share that experience with me. He was here for Christmas and our children were so excited. We can't have him for this Thanksgiving, but he is due to come home in time for this Christmas. Since we know that we aren't guaranteed to spend all of our holidays together, the ones we will get will mean so much more. This Christmas we plan to visit family and friends and celebrate another great holiday with the people that we love.