Christmas - a Movie Monopoly

Christmas has Frosty the Snowman, Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and even the big man, Santa Claus. No I'm not talking about figures of the season, I'm talking movies. Talkies. Feature films.

Why no Thanksgiving movies? I mean can you even think of one? Try. Right now. No? Thought so.

The one figure Thanksgiving has is Tom the Turkey. Lamo. They did try to make a movie of a it, a cartoon movie that was none successful. But why? Why are there no successful holiday movies about Thanksgiving? I suppose Christmas has a big fan following but so does Thanksgiving. Everyone loves eating and falling asleep. But the sad thing is when we wake up the only thing that's on is football or Christmas movies.

I think there are some definite reasons why there are no Thanksgiving movies.

1) Thanksgiving's only big figure is the Turkey. We love turkey but the subject can get overdone as quick as a two pound bird.

2) Thanksgiving is associated with Pilgrims killing Indians which isn't the happiest story in the world.

3) There's not a great symbol we can hold up or a magnanimous person we celebrate. I mean there is Tom the Turkey no Santa Claus. There's the Easter Bunny, the flag for the 4th of July, scary monsters for Halloween. And of course Christ or Santa for Christmas. Even Chanukah has Chanukuh Harry but we see him to a lesser degree. So the minora fills in.

4) The center of Thanksgiving is a meal, not an event. So we eat and eat and eat and then fall asleep. Most other holidays have something to do with food - Easter eggs, Christmas cookies, Halloween candy. But in all those holidays we get to go off and do something else besides eating the proceeds. We get to search for easter eggs, ask for candy in costumes, etc. Plus there are figures to go along with the activities. But eating is the only activity at Thanksgiving so there's no need to watch movies or do anything else about Thanksgiving because it isn't necessarily a fun holiday in which you do lots of things like shopping or decoration. It's table and bed.

5) Thanksgiving isn't magical enough. It's not scary, it's not supernatural, there are no myths to go along with it. Reindeer don't fly, bunnies don't go hopping around, witches don't eat your children.

6) There are no gifts! People bring over food and that's great but at the end of the day, you can't play with your food or show it off to people unless you're two years old.

7) Football and parades are one think but mostly Thanksgiving is associated with bickering families and Christmas is associated with togetherness.

So let's as a nation change this. How you ask? How can we make sure that Tom the Turkey gets his due? I say we come up with some crazy movie ideas for Thanksgiving and enlist Hollywood to make them.. Here are some things we can do to make sure that our children get to grow up watching Thanksgiving movies.

1) Come up with some great crazy figures bypassing Tom the Turkey. How about a fairy who brings down the turkey every year from Turkey heaven?

2) Let's let go of that that whole killing Pilgrims thing. Thanksgiving needs a good story that can be told over and over without getting boring. There are many versions of Santa Claus story. What about a myth about a guy had to cut down all the trees in the woods to find a turkey. And cutting the turkey is something special like opening gifts? Huh? Huh?

3) We need a magnanimous symbol or person. The cornicopia of course!

4) How about an event? We need an activity to do at Thanksgiving besides just eating. Easter has the Easter egg hunt. Christmas has unwrapping presents. How about we have to give potatoes to people? And we can play hot potato? Yeah! That's the ticket! Hot potato! A tradition waiting to be had. Or to go along with the story, everyone can go out and find and gut their own turkeys!

5) Let's skip the magical bit and move on to movie titles. We need good titles like "The Turkey Fairy" or "Ovenbaked" or "Ham Glazin'" .

6) We have to start giving gifts. How about we leave gifts under people's pillows at night and it can be some weird game. It's kid of like the tooth fairy idea but different.

7) Families need to stop bickering. But no worries. I'm guessing the bickering will stop once the hot potato game begins.

Once we do all of these things and come up with more ideas, Hollywood will have no choice but to make a movie about Thanksgiving! So think of more ideas for movies and send them into Hollywood. I'm sure they'll get through. Or we can all write a letter to our congressman/woman to help make Thanksgiving more commercialized. They'll definitely be interested in doing that.

And then we can play all those Thanksgiving movies our favorite holiday - Christmas.