Christmas Poem: 'Tis the Month Before Christmas

Still, we venture forth holiday shopping again.

The economy stinks, but the little ones beg

For toys that will cost us an arm and a leg!

More rapid than eagles those shoppers do bound

To be first in line at a store across town.

"Hey, move it! Shove over!" They glare and they glower,

"That's my parking space; I've been waiting for hours!"

They race to the stores like a bat out of hell

Brushing past Santa Claus ringing his bell.

"Donation?! I've credit card bills yet to pay,

"So can it, fat boy, and get out of my way!"

Their patience is low, but their fervor is ample,

They sprint for the entrance, the weaker are trampled!

Pushing and shoving and being obnoxious,

Grabbing iPods and I-Dogs, I-Cats and XBoxes!

In our day, we marveled at dump trucks and dolls,

Cassette players, tea sets and spongy Nerf balls.

If we ran out of batteries, we weren't defeated -

Our imaginations were all that we needed

But now the Technology Age has arrived,

When a kid with no iPod's considered deprived!

Today's plugged-in kids, our old-fashioned toys bore 'em

'Cause too many gadgets do their thinking for 'em!

Parents practically need to enlist a translator

To decipher the code spoken by their teenager:

"IDK if want a DS or a Wii

"Or a PS2 Silver or PS3 80GB."

Is he babbling in tongues? Is he speaking in Greek?

What are these strange acronyms of which he speaks?

Rolling his eyes, the kid deigns to assist them,

"OMG, Mom and Dad, it's a gaming system!"

But don't be disheartened by technology's sway;

Introduce kids to stuff we loved back in the day.

All the classic playthings from the Toy Hall of Fame -

Off the top of my head, here's a few I can name:

There's Lite-Brite! There's Slinky!

There's Tonkas and Play-Doh!

ViewMaster and Twister!

And Big Wheels and Lego!

To the top of the shelves!

To the stores and the malls!

Now dash away! Dash away!

Dash away all!

Getting back to the basics can save you some dough

In these hardscrabble times when finances are low.

If your kids bellyache, bellow, bluster and bawl,

Remind them of those who'll get nothing at all.