Christmas Tree Farms in Murrieta, California

That time of year once again has loomed ever so trepidatious-ly to the coming onslaught of numerous Christmas trees that are in bloom. And as such, you can always get your "X-mas" tree at any Lowes Hardware or Home Depot store parking lot nearest you. And of course, those trees would have to be shipped from somewhere. And of course, most of those trees that do come into our state of California are really trees from other states - most prominently from the state of Oregon. Good trees that meet a certain demand. But not really "good" trees in the sense of longevity - in that like all other plants form the ground, they immediately begin to die, like a person placed on a half filled intravenous bag that's set to only drip feed him an amount equal to one meal per day for a full month. Do the math and you get the idea that such a man won't last long in that condition. The same could be said of a plant or tree - since we're on the subject of trees.

But why buy a tree that won't even last till Christmas Day when you can get one that is freshly cut - that's right, I said "freshly cut." Like your "freshly cut" prime rib steak - only it's a tree that I'm talking about. Enough about hospital care and food - it's Christmas time, and I got some ideas for places you can be a "manly-man" by desecrating and obliviously chopping down your very own "X-mas" tree (that's right, I'm using Futurama references - you wanna make something of it?).

But you ask "why try and do that? Isn't that illegal?" No!! Silly man or woman! Only if you're going to be doing it in a national state , federal, or local municipal public park! But besides that, you can still get to be a "manly-man" and do it "legal-eagle" without being prison bunk mates with Bubba. "How?" you dare ask. EASY! Ever hear of Christmas Tree Farms? Yeah, that's right, "farms" - like the oyster farms or the turkey farms you hear about. Only it's for trees. Well, at these farms you can pick and choose a tree, and take a jolly lopping it down - under heavy supervision of course (no missing limbs please - insurance sure don't cover that), or have the personnel do it for you (if you're incompetent with an ax or saw). In addition, the pluses include a fresh and unique (as well as possibly sweaty and heady) experience in pretending to be a small-time lumberjack and still be fashionably sexy at the same time, and let's not forget how it would do great as a family outing. Just be sure to not let junior run around silly with the ax or saw. Besides that, you can also bring your girlfriend along and prove to her how macho you really are - or your boyfriend in how much of a tomboy Lorena Bobbitt wanna-be you can be (and it can work vise versa interchangeably for your gay or lesbian lover). Overall, it makes for a great time.

Considering Murrieta and Temecula, California, you'd think there would be plenty of places in the surrounding region where they sell trees. Surprise!! No, there isn't - surprisingly. And that's considering the surrounding region to be very much wild and all wildernesses just outside of the city limits - the flip side is that there are plenty of wineries. So you will have to make for a weekend trip for you and your family, or whatever, and get out there to those places and hack down for yourself a piece of nature - like we all want to. Take that nature!!

Well, I compiled a list of places for you all to visit, which is mainly down to three places (and they're all a long drive). Since Murrieta and Temecula are so precariously nestled in such a secluded area that sing elitist suburbia you have to make do with what you can get. And I had a field day talking to a couple of these people as they made it all the more fun for me to write this. I mean I tell them I'm writing an article about places where people can buy trees - they tell me they're going to give me an e-mail press release, and they never come through. Gotta love those guys (and if by chance any of you are reading this, you know who you are - congrats in making yourselves look unprofessional and leave me hanging - I mean how hard is e-mail?). Though not completely thorough, it will serve well for all you aspiring lumbar-jacks, Lorena Bobbitt's, or Iowa ax murderers (I'm kidding on the last suggestion - murder is always bad, no matter how you chop it). Of course, the pricing for Christmas trees depends on several factors, being the type of tree, the condition of the said tree, and lastly the size of the tree. Prices reflected here are rough estimates and are not solid guarantees at a later date - and could change due to other factors, such as transportation, price of gas, and the United States' economic outlook in a month to two months from now. So be mindful that my estimates do not reflect what will be the actual cost for any one tree out of any one of these places.

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Live Oak Canyon Christmas Tree Farm & Pumpkin Patch

Where: 32335 Live Oak Canyon Rd, Redlands, CA - ‎

Contact Info: phone (909) 795-8733 ; info@johnsonbros.net

Hours: Nov. 22^nd - Nov 27^th at 9am to 5pm

Nov. 28^th - Dec 14^th at 9am to 8pm

Dec. 15^th - Dec 21^st at 9am to 5pm

Types of Trees: They have Monterey pine, Aleppo Pine, Sierra Redwood, Noble Fir, Grand Fir, and lastly, Doug Fir.

Pricing: Unfortunately, I was offered no estimates

Services Offered: Flame Retarding - cost not available

Custom Flocking - cost not available

Delivery - cost not available

Other Services: There is a Gourd Shop that is open during any regular season or by appointment. They also have a Gift Shop open during Halloween and Christmas seasons. There is as well a Picnic Area with Poplar trees and a Snack Tent that's open on weekends where you can buy food.

Features: They have a barnyard petting zoo, giant hay castle, a hay ride, a quad ride with mini quads pulled inline at the back, and an inflatable slide - most of rides cost $2.00, except for maybe the giant hay castle.

Fun Activities: When you check their website, they have a calendar full of events that you and the kids or your friends can go to have fun and be a part of. The activities will range from Aztec face painting to bluegrass concerts.

Website:http://www.liveoakcanyon.com/loc/christmas/Christmas.htm

Details: From what I can tell from their website and after speaking with Erin and recently to a Greg Polmer over the phone, they are perhaps the closest thing to a theme park in Redlands, Ca. and perhaps have the most things for the kids to do and have fun with while you're out laboriously and ever so lovingly chopping a tree. Had a great time talking to them both - really I did. Good times, really. I mean I can't get enough in getting hung up on by Erin - let's not forget how Greg didn't come through for me with some intel on their pricing of trees. Eh, Greg? I mean really, I do come off over the phone as someone who could have it out for tree farms. But jokes and small jabs aside, I'll venture to say that they'll definitely assist you in whatever you need.

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Peltzer Pine Christmas Tree Farms

Where: They are located in three places - two of which I believe are the closest, but you decide. One is at 9002 Irvine Center Dr, Irvine, CA and the other is at 7851 Black Star Canyon Rd, Silverado, CA

Contact Info: Irvine phone (949) 727-4699; Silverado phone (714) 649-9251‎

Hours: Sat. and Sun. from 9am to 5pm, and on weekdays from 11:30am to 5pm.

Types of Trees: They have Monterey Pine and Leyland Pine ("Leylandia").

Pricing: "Charlie Brown" Trees (1ft - 5ft) for around $9.00 to $49.00, and Premium Peltzer Pines (5ft - 6ft) for around $19.00 to $100.00, and finally the much bigger trees above 10 ft in height that is around $57.00 to $137.00 - and do remember they are just ballpark estimates.

Payment Accepted: Cash or Check only.

Services Offered: Delivery can be done for $35.00, but can change or be adjusted due to economic conditions.

Other Services: You can pick, cut, and pick-up at your convenience till Dec. 22^nd.

Features: They have a barnyard petting zoo, giant hay castle, a hay ride, a quad ride with mini quads pulled inline at the back, and a slide - most of rides cost $2.00, except for maybe the giant hay castle.

Fun Activities: None available at this Tree Farm.

Website:http://www.peltzerpines.com/default.asp

Details: It's family run as far as I can tell after speaking with Charles Peltzer (father) and Nick (son) over the phone, and both were agreeable and good natured, and helpful too. The charm about their place is really how close to nature you really are, with it's less modernized atmosphere - lacking what Live Oak Canyon has, but gaining more with it's unique feel and incomparable environment and scenery. Be sure to mention that a "Mark" mentioned them.

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Johnson Brothers Pumpkins and Christmas Trees

Where: They are located in Irvine Center Drive, Irvine, CA.

Contact Info: phone (949) 733-0650; info@johnsonbros.net

Hours: Mon. - Sun. from 9am to 9pm.

Types of Trees: They have Noble Fir, Grand Fir, and lastly, Douglas Fir.

Pricing: I was not given any estimates in regards to the trees, but wreaths are sold in a small size at $12.95 to a large size at $26.95, as well as garlands at $1.50 per foot.

Payment Accepted: Cash, Check, and Credit Card accepted.

Services Offered: They can deliver within a 5 mile radius (so much for having them deliver) and charge around $20.00. They also do flocking that come in three degrees: white flocking at $4.00 per ft, medium flocking at $5.00 per ft, and heavy flocking at $6.00 per ft, with after 8 ft every additional foot is $3.00 per ft.

Other Services: None available at this Tree Farm.

Features: None available at this Tree Farm.

Fun Activities: None available at this Tree Farm.

Website:http://www.jonhnsonbros.net/christmasindex.html

Details: Spoke to a Tom and a Damien over the phone and they sound pretty amiable enough. It's rather far - but if you're in the Irvine area, it's a nice place to stop by and pick up a tree. Plus it's Irvine, so if you're into shopping, hanging out, having fun, or (if you're a gamer like me) go visit Blizzard HQ just to drool at their doors.

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Highland Valley Christmas Tree Farm

Where: They are located in18425 Highland Valley Road, Ramona, CA.

Contact Info: phone (760) 789-0114; pine@pineandwine.com

Hours: Thu. & Fri. from 3pm to 5pm, and Sat. & Sun. from 9am to 5pm, and finally closed on Mon., Tue., and Wed.

Types of Trees: They have Noble Fir, Grand Fir, and lastly, Douglas Fir.

Pricing: Competitive price at $7.00 per ft.

Payment Accepted: Cash and Check accepted only.

Services Offered: Free Shaking and Netting. You can also call or e-mail a special order.

Other Services: None available at this Tree Farm.

Features: None available at this Tree Farm.

Fun Activities: None available at this Tree Farm.

Website:http://www.pineandwine.com/

Details: Wrote to Alfredo Gallone who helped with whatever information I needed. Good place to visit from what I can tell on the map, plus considering their competitive pricing, if you're a cheap-a$$ like me and you live closest to that, you have a good deal.

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Other possible suggestions that could be helpful include these additional places.

ABC Christmas Tree Farm

2260 Jimmy Durante Blvd, Del Mar, CA - (858) 509-5187‎

Lang Family Christmas Tree Farm

5750 Central Ave, Riverside, CA - (951) 688-2613‎

Mountain Pines Christmas Tree Farm

29932 Camino Capistrano, San Juan Capistrano, CA - (949) 364-1270‎

Keep in mind that everything I've just said in regards to certain persons related therein was done so in comedic jest - and in no way is meant to offend or hurt anyone's feelings. Other than that - please don't sue me. And if you choose to, let me tell you - fiscally speaking - you won't be getting much and be wasting your time (I'm unemployed and not a dollar to my name). Happy tree hunting and have a Merry Christmas!! ; D