Circle of Life: What Goes Around Comes Around

Why does it always seem like we can't relate to a situation until after we've been through it. How many times have your parents cursed you with the statement, "Just wait until you have kids." At fourteen it had little meaning and I laughed it off. But at thirty-six with a child of my own, I can totally relate. Not that my child is bad, he's not in my eyes. I tend to spoil him rotten and at times I get paid back. I have taught him many lessons during his first decade alive and I pray he makes it through several more growing stages. I have faith that in the future I will laugh at all the things he swore he would do differently when he's an adult. Right now he's at the stage where he will never getting married and will never have kids. Remember that stage? I already know I'm in for a surprise during his tweens and teenage years. He has already developed a strong personality and a feisty spirit (wonder where he gets that?). He always has to have the last word and loves to debate. Some of our most heated discussions have ended in the phrase, "Because I said so!" And at times because I engage him in conversation and encourage dialog he has the nerve to question "why?", as parents, we do the things we do. Another phrase that comes to mind is, "don't bite the hand that feeds you". Realizing that he does depend on his parents for all his basic needs, food, shelter, transportation, clothes and allowance, he usually frowns and retreats to his room with a defeated look on his face after he realized he can't win.

But in his room, he has more than I could ever ask for at ten-years-old. He has a 27-inch television, a Playstation 2 Game system with DVD capabilities, a VCR complete with assorted movies, a Nintendo DS (portable game system) a bookshelf full of reading material, a full-size bed with three pillows, a personal laptop, two chests and a closet full of clothes and a number of assorted toys. He plays many tricks that I guess he learned from other kids. You know the one where they pretend they didn't hear you or completely forget that five seconds ago you told them to do something they didn't want to do like clean their room. Or how about the one where they say their shoes hurt their feet, the minute they want a new pair of shoes. For all of you who don't have kids yet, you will find out later but for those of you who do, you can relate. There are a number of other tricks kids use regarding food. If allowed, they will open several boxes of cereal and
then it will take a million years to get rid of the old cereal and by the time you want some of the old abandoned cereal it is now stale. And how about the game where they drink all the juice but fight with the spinach on their plate because they claim they are so full. That doesn't happen that often in our household anymore because if our son didn't eat his dinner, it is available to eat for breakfast. He has screamed, "it isn't fair," several times when our quick reply is, "life isn't fair." Steaming mad, he storms to his comfortable room and maybe thinks that he can't wait to be an adult so he can do what he wants to do. Little does he know even after several conversations about it, this is the best time of his life, a time where his biggest responsibilities are keeping his room clean and obtaining good grades in school.

With all that said. I want to thank you Mom (and Dad) for giving me a great childhood, full of all the opportunities you could give. Not that I couldn't appreciate it then, I can just relate now. From ballet lessons, swimming lessons, sleep-away camp, braces, cool clothes, summer vacations all across the country for our more than average size family, my own private phone line, the nights you let me borrow the car keys at age sixteen, help with college and anything else I forgot, thank you. I get it now! I can relate.

As a footnoote, even though I am a product of a divorce and have a big, albeit strange at times, blended family,I appreciate it all, the good, the bad and the ugly. I'm grateful for my step-parents, other relatives and all the brothers and sisters that I now call family.