City, Country, or Redneck

Are you a city person, country person, or a redneck? Here is how to tell.

City person...you drive a "conservative car". Country person...you drive a rusted old pickup truck. Redneck...you drive a truck that requires a twenty foot ladder to get into.

City person...you dine on lobster and caviar. Country person...you dine on beans and potatoes and homegrown vegetables. Redneck...you dine of mountain oysters and moonshine.

City person...you go to a theatre for opera. Country person...you go to a drive in to make out. Redneck...what in the heck is a theater?

City person...you wear nice clothes and shoes. Country person...you wear overalls and old cowboy boots. Redneck...you wear sleeveless (sleeves have been torn off) shirts and boots that have holes in the toes and caps with more grease on them than in a fast food restaurant.

City person...you have your car fixed at a predominate mechanic. Country person...you fix it yourself or find another old one to buy. Redneck...if you cannot fix it yourself you put it to the side with the rest of them; then you hitch a ride with a buddy.

City person...you have a house of much value. Country person...you have a fairly nice house. Redneck...what is a house? Here is my shack, dirt floors and wood cooking stove and all.

City person...your hats are felt or other nice material. Country person...your hat is straw and ragged. Redneck...you don't wear a hat you wear a cap; there is a difference you know?

City person...you speak proper English. Country person...you speak English, just not quiet as proper. Redneck...well, only other Rednecks can understand you.

City person...you ride only purebred show horses. Country person...you ride the best "cow horse". Redneck...riding horses is not going to happen.

City person...your music is classical and opera. Country person...of course, your music is country. Redneck...well, no one really knows what Rednecks listen to.

City person...you go on vacation to the Grand Canyon, Niagra Falls, Hawaii et cetera. Country...your vacation is when you are extremely sick and get to stay in bed while someone else feeds the livestock. Redneck...you are on vacation every day.

City person...you drink wine and Champaign. Country person...you drink Bud and Michelob. Redneck...you drink Schlitz Malt Liquor and homemade "shine".

City person...you shop at Macy's and other department stores. Country person...you shop at Home Depot and Farmer's Co-ops. Rednecks...you shop at five and dime stores and flea markets.

And last but not least...City person...you are reading this on a computer. Country person...you may be reading it on someone else's computer. Redneck...now what is a computer? As far as reading, well, about a fifth grade level is a maybe.

Source:

All made up (personal)