Clanging False Alarm

She had been dreaming. In the dream, she splashed water on her face and the bathroom counter and the floor under the tips of her toes with cold water before gazing wearily at herself in the mirror. In the dream, she remembered what had not happened in the dream but had nevertheless occurred in her own world, her phone call and the short conversation that caused her to pity her reflection as if it belonged to someone else. She somehow managed to know that she was dreaming as well as to remember the dream, in spite of waking up suddenly just seconds before the sirens jogged her out of bed. She dressed hurriedly, clumsily, pulling heavy denim pants over her pajamas and grabbing a coat from a small closet. Her feet were in shoes before she even realized it and she was out of the door.

A small group of people milled around in the cold. Some of them were wide awake, not like her, and chatted and acted as if it was two thirty in the afternoon. It was more like two thirty in the morning -- she wasn't sure. The fire alarm that had disturbed her unpleasant dream no longer clamored in the night but they weren't yet clear to return to their rooms. She tried not to lean against a wall knowing that otherwise, she would fall asleep against it. She thought perhaps she had fallen asleep when she noticed others walking back inside the building. She would return to her room and shewould dream the same dream, she was sure.

Her room key seemed to jam against everything as she attempted to smoothly unlock her door. Sometimes, the key had a way of contacting the workings of the lock in such a way and zapping the key-wielder. She wasn't hoping to be jolted awake when she was just beginning to get the better of her fatigue. Despite the embarrassment generated by the phone call that had never happened, she welcomed the opportunity just to go to another place. Staring at herself in the mirror wasn't her idea of a vacation but that universe offered more respite than the one with constant fire alarms and locking and unlocking doors with frisky keys.

She was inside her room with only a strip of light shining through the narrow window. She was not alone. She did not react when she saw the shadow sitting by the wall. She thought she would have under normal circumstances, but she didn't feel like herself. She kept the door open, however, with the knob held securely between her palm and fingers. She breathed a loud long breath, in and out -- that was her greeting. It was her non-verbal request to her visitor to immediately share his business and his intentions. She did not demand to know who he was or how he had gained entry. That was another indication built into her breath. It was a sigh. It wasn't a 'not again' sigh, but rather a 'why me.'

He asked her to come in but she was already in. She would not enter further, not when that would make them equidistant from the door. This time she yawned. Get on with it -- he understood this, he would have had to understand this. He stood up and he was quite tall and rather thin and blocking even the little light there was. She automatically opened the door wider and stepped one foot outside. It was too early to call for help. Her preference was to call for help but she knew she wouldn't readily receive it. Neither of them spoke for a moment.

Have you a light, he asked. She cleared her throat. That was her only response. I am sorry to have disturbed you then, he said. The shadow-man clicked on the light. Momentarily blinded, she could but squint her eyes as he flounced past her, nearly knocking her over in the process. His back, slouching down the hallway, provided clear evidence that Dan, who lived on the next hallway, the row of small rooms, had entered her room again, but craftily instead of forcefully this time. What was the point of locks, she wondered.

She watch his back head all the way down the hall until he turned the corner. She remembered that phone call. While it had not happened in the dream, she realized that it had happened in real life. That phone call, which had left her stunned and confused and feeling rather like a fool, had happened when she misunderstood the mixed signals of an enigmatic man or failed the test of an arrogant one. It was the same end for her either way. She was alone in a tiny room where the locks were no good but the lights worked just fine.