Clarifying Misconceptions About Asexuality

Asexuality is a relatively new sexual preference. Sometimes called "nonsexuality" in an attempt to avoid confusion, an asexual lacks sexual attraction to others. It should be noted that an asexual is not merely choosing celibacy or a lack of a sexual life, but rather has little personal interest in sex. As the general public has yet to become intimately acquainted with what it means to be asexual, there are a number of common misconceptions.

An Asexual Does Not Desire Relationships
The most damaging misconception about asexuality is that an asexual cannot love or be interested in a romantic relationship. This misconception is painting an unfavorable picture for asexuality and threatens to expand their difference from other sexual preferences in a very negative manner. By definition, an asexual does not have sexual attraction. However, this does not mean that an asexual will not want to be in a relationship free of sex, or does not want to engage in sex for other reasons.

An asexual may want to show their love in different ways, such as displays of loyalty, art, quality time together, the sharing of hobbies, or any other way someone engaging in sex would otherwise show their affection. The biggest reason an asexual will abstain from a relationship is because finding people who can tolerate low amounts of sex, or can accept their partner not finding them sexually attractive, is difficult. On the same token, to think an asexual cannot find someone beautiful or handsome is another misconception. An asexual may believe their partner is the most beautiful creature on this Earth. The only difference between an asexual finding someone beautiful and someone else finding someone beautiful is that an asexual will not feel sexual desire springing only from their partner's looks. For them, it's more along the lines of emotionally connecting with a gorgeous painting capable of thought and intelligence and with the ability to love them back.

All Asexuals Are the Same
This couldn't be further from the truth. The term asexual was coined to create a demographic of apparent outliers who do not think about or desire sex in the same manner of their peers. However, someone who is asexual may masturbate, or engage in sex with a partner, contrary to the misconception that every asexual will choose not to have sex, every time. Often, the sex will be about the sharing of romantic feelings and quelling unrelated sexual desire.

An Asexual Who Has Sex is a Hypocrite
In the same vein, another misconception about an asexual who has sex is that they are a hypocrite. All asexuality states is that an asexual individual will not experience sexual attraction; the orientation says nothing about innate sexual urges. These kinds of sexual desire are an innate force that does not rise from sexual attraction.

It is Hypocritical for an Asexual to Prefer a Partner's Gender
An asexual may wish to be in a relationship or have sex with someone of their same sex, the opposite sex, have no preference what their partner is, or desire more nontraditional partners, such as transgenders. It's a misconception that this is contradictory, as an asexual may wish to engage in sex and may simply feel more comfortable with a certain type of person for other reasons. Sometimes sex is devoid of emotion and is all about lust, but many people feel different levels of comfort, interest and closeness with different genders. An asexual is no different.

WORKS CITED
personal experience