Classes All Universities Should Offer to Potential Parents

Expanding your family is a joyous occasion. Most parents spend months and months educating themselves on parenting and childcare before their child arrives. Some things, however, you just can't mentally prepare yourself for until it happens to you. I'm an educated person and thought parenting a newborn would be a breeze until I ran into several stumbling blocks along the way. The following are classes I only wish I could have taken before my child arrived.

Colic 101
Your baby is born and you marvel at how calm and serene she is and what a "good" baby you have. One week later, the baby is crying inconsolably and you haven't slept in what feels like days. This is colic. This is the part you didn't read about in the baby books because your baby wouldn't have this problem. Colic usually resolves itself in about 4 months. By the way, virtually nothing you do will help alleviate things. Just start crossing off the days on your calendar.

Sleep Deprivation Appreciation
You really can learn to function on four hours of sleep. Every night. Until your child is 7 years old.

Parenting for Idiots
Never mind the fact you are CPR trained, have a degree in health/psychology/education/insert your degree here. You do "it" wrong. "It" in this case will be determined by a certified (or certifiable, as the case may be) specialist in the form of your mother-in-law or your own mother. Advice from perfect strangers will also be thrown in for good measure.

Whinese As a Second Language
At some point in your parenthood journey (about the two year mark) you will need to be able to recognize your toddler's ability to speak a second language. Your child will speak Whinese everyday. Several times a day. Yes, you can have some cheese with this whine. In case of extreme emergency, a waaahhhhmbulance may need to be called. For you. Because you will have gone stark raving mad.

The Tao of Tantrum

You may want to take this course along with Whinese as a Second Language as tantrums will also become a daily occurence in your home. You may also find yourself guilty of having tantrums during this developmental phase of your child's life.

Mind Reading for Beginners

Discover why your child dissolves into a screaming mess when you half her banana. She wanted it whole. Can't you do anything right?

Art Appreciation

Sure, they say those crayons are washable. Sometimes you will just have to embrace and appreciate the artwork that your two year old will adorn your walls and furniture with.

Cosmetology

Your child will at some point find a pair of scissors and attempt to cut her own hair. Just pray asymmetrical hairdos are all the rage that season.