Cluster Headaches

My husband and I love to play shuffleboard and we would play tournaments 2 or 3 times a week. The games took place at our local V.F.W. post or American Legion Hall. We would have a few beers, visit with friends and of course play shuffleboard.

I started noticing that every time I had a beer I would get this terrible headache. It would last sometimes a short time but then sometimes lasting what seemed like an eternity. It was unlike any headache I had ever had. It only affected one side of my head. It would start with one side of my nose getting all stuffy and then my eye on the same side would start to water. Then the pain came. Oh my God, the pain. It felt as if someone was shoving a red hot ice pick into my eye socket. Then the ice pick moved to above my eye, just above the eyebrow. It didn't stop there. Oh no. It moved to my ear then my jaw and finally to the back of my neck, only to start over at my eye again.

I survived a few of these attacks before seeing my doctor. He examined me and said that I had an inner ear infection. I took the prescribed amount of antibiotics. There was no change. The headaches were still coming. I made another appointment. I was informed I still had the infection. The antibiotics just were not working. Another prescription. No relief. After three different antibiotics and a couple of months went by the headaches were gone. My inner ear infection was cured.

About 4 months later the same symptoms again. Another doctor visit.This time it was a sinus infection. Same thing as before after a couple of months the headaches were gone.

Here we go again about 4 months or so later. I started to notice a pattern at that time. I knew I was not suffering from infections, however I had no idea what was wrong with me. I was beginning to get really scared. Did I have a brain tumor? Maybe. My Father had died from one. All I knew was the headaches were getting worse. The pain more severe and the attacks more frequent. I was having more than one headache a day. I was not even drinking alcohol. The strangest thing was that sometimes certain smells would trigger an attack. Strong perfume or sometimes cigarette smoke

My doctor was of no help. I had to do something.

I started a journal documenting my headaches. What time of day. The duration of the pain. The location and severity of the pain. Food or beverages I may have ingested. What I was doing when the attack occurred. Any stress I may have. Armed with this information I started my research.

I researched brain tumors, neurological disorders, aneurysms, anything that might even remotely be causing my symptoms. Nothing matched. I looked up all types of headaches, any that I had ever heard of. Still nothing. Then one day I was reading a book, fiction no less and cluster headache was mentioned. I immediately went to the computer and typed it in. I could not believe my eyes! This is me! This is what is happening to me!

I started some serious research then. I read everything that I could get my hands on trying to understand my illness. I learned all I could. I learned that I am episodic meaning I have headaches for a few weeks then I go into remission for a few months. Usually my clusters are in the spring and then again in the fall. I am in cycle now. I will not go into the why or the medications or the causes of my headaches. As that is not really important to me at this time. I just have to survive them.

It seems the longer that I live with this monster called clusters the more pain I have to endure. I wake from a blissful sleep with a full blown headache. I have given birth and this pain is more intense. I cant lie down I cant sit still. I have thrown myself to the floor and moaned and cried. Begged God to end my pain. I have pulled my hair and beat myself in the head. I cant talk because to move my mouth and jaws causes unbearable pain. I must confesses there have been times that I wished death would take me.

The headache never lasts for more than an hour and a half although sometimes I get lucky and I can abort it in 15 minutes or so. After the pain is gone I am just exhausted physically and mentally. I am freezing like I have taken a bath in ice. I don't understand this as I have never heard it mentioned from other sufferers. The side of my head where the headache was is sore to the touch. I don't care about all of that it's over for now. But I know it will return.

I am not the only one to have to live with this demon. My husband has to live with it too. He has to sit by and watch me suffer. Feeling helpless because there is nothing he can do to help me.

There is no miracle drug that will stop the pain. There is no cure. There is only the hope that one day I will go into remission and stay there.