Coaches Need to Pick Battles Carefully with Refs

Sometimes you've just got to talk about something that's untimely simply because, well, it's discussion material.

In all my years of being around sports as an athlete, fan or media member, it never ceases to amaze me how many coaches, athletes or whoever seal their fate when it comes to dealing with referees.

I once had a conversation with a former high school-league commissioner in Napa, California, named Paul Hoover, who passed away in 2003. This discussion, mind you, came at another point in my career.

Hoover theorized that anyone on an emotionally thinking level claims that the quality of officiating has declined in recent years, but they fail to realize one thing.

Given the abuse referees take, people are not beating the door down to become one. That statement makes almost too much sense, because who in their right mind wants to deal boorish behavior? Let's face it, for the most part, refs only hear from people when they are mad. How often do you hear someone say, "Good call, ref," and mean it genuinely as opposed to carrying a biting undertone? Very seldom.

Before I go any further, if you think the ref is "out to get your team" after most every call that goes against your team, you are out to lunch. On the other hand, if you are one of these self-righteous people who gets on your high horse and always claims that a coach or athlete is "whining" when they address a call, you are equally out to lunch.

Heck, if you're a coach, athlete or fan, it's your right to disagree with a call that goes against your team because criticism is fair as long as it's valid. After all, people are human.

The trick is "how" you address the situation.

There's nothing wrong with addressing a call that goes against your team as long as it's done within reason and respectfully. It's all about picking your battles carefully.

Coaches or athletes who are frequently overly emotional pertaining to calls going against their team fail to realize that they are sealing their own fate by always claiming it's someone else's fault.

That behavior sends the wrong message for many reasons. For one thing, you send the message to youngsters that it's OK to blame others when things go against you. I've got news for you, it's not always someone else's fault.

Let's face it, we all like to believe that referees are objective, which I think most of them are. On the other hand, they have long memories. They will remember whether a coach or athlete is always overly demonstrative in addressing their call.

They will also remember those who are seldom overly demonstrative.

The former type of person will get tuned out and is unlikely to get the benefit of the doubt on a judgment call. The latter, however, is more likely to be received better because they pick their battles more judiciously. They might even get the benefit of the doubt on a judgment call.

Just apply this idea to life, such as if you work with someone and that person always complains. You know the type - the coffee's too cold, the building is too cold, etc.

Well, you get the idea. Let's be brutally honest, anyone in their right mind would tune out someone like that, even if that person's claim might be legitimate. On the other hand, if someone rarely complains, you might take the view of, "Well, heck, it's got to be true."

Anything to gain an edge.