Coffee Explained

If you are reading this before 9:00 a.m. chances are you are a coffee drinker. Many people are. If you like to drink coffee please raise your hand. Please keep your hands up until we finish counting. Ok, you can put them down now.

In the olden times before the invention of Starbucks, men took coffee from home to work via an invention called a thermos. That worked pretty well except some days men put soup in the thermos instead, and the next day it gave the coffee an 'off', or minestrone-ish taste.

Coffee can still be made at home using one or all of several different methods.

First, it is of interest to note that coffee is actually made from beans. Not just any beans though. They have to be beans grown especially for coffee. I know black beans have the right color, but you do not want to put a can of black beans into your coffee maker. Just take my word for it.

Here are a few of the most popular ways to make coffee:

Automatic drip: Automatic drip remains one of the most popular coffee preparing methods. A guy actually named Mister Coffee invented it, can you believe that? What are the odds?

Espresso: Invented in Italy, superheated water is forced up through the coffee from below, like a tiny coffee Vesuvius. Then it is served in the cups from your daughter's dollhouse.

French Press: This is not to be confused with Le Monde or the Paris Times. The French press coffee maker forcibly pushes ground coffee through hot water, like giving a reluctant dog a bath.

Instant coffee: Just add water, and milk and sugar, and rum or anything else to make it drinkable.

I did a taste-test of two or three cups from each of these methods the other night after dinner, and they were all pretty good. I was able to think about them for a long, long time afterwards because that very night I was struck with one of my bouts of insomnia. Insomnia is the ability (or gift if you will), of being able to stay up really late thinking about things that in the morning do not seem to be so terribly important or worrisome after all. They have some medicines now that claim to ruin insomnia for you. One of the side effects of such medicines is an inability to operate heavy machinery. I was happy to hear that. I did not realize that normally I have such ability. I wonder if heavy equipment comes with cup holders.