Cold-Blooded Coworkers

I hate snakes. I hate the actual reptile and I especially hate people who have the personality of a snake. But most of all, I hate the phoniness of the two-headed variety. Or maybe you haven't heard of that type? The "Two-Headed Snake" is a term coined by Gary Namie of the Workplace Bullying Institute for a workplace bully that basically presents a pleasant, professional persona in the presence of people they are trying to impress. Even to the face of their target, the snake is cordial, friendly, hard-working and cooperative. But deep down, this person is a loathsome creature that says and does things to hurt their target behind their target's back. The snake's agenda is to advance their own goals and condemn their target, who is usually someone that the snake feels is in the way of the snake's professional (and even personal) advancement.

Because of this "dual personality," it is extremely difficult to identify the snake's true tasteless nature. Once a few people start to recognize the snake for who/what they are, it is still difficult to get others to believe that the snake can be as bad as portrayed because the snake still appears to be a good person to all others. It's as though people have to experience first-hand the treachery of the two-headed snake and get a glimpse of the "evil face" before they truly understand the duplicity taking place. Then they feel like a fool for having believed in the snake and try to warn others about the snake in the hope that strength in numbers will destroy the snake.

There are some characteristics that can help employers identify a two-headed snake; they include:

There's No "I" in Team, But There is a Snake

The two-headed snake is notorious for taking credit for projects that they actually had little if any contribution toward. When the target isn't present, the snake is doing all they can to make the target lose any hint of credibility - sabotaging the target's work, making rude comments about the target, downplaying the target's achievements. Likewise, as early as the beginning of a mutual project with the target, the snake will think of ways to make their target the scapegoat in case something goes wrong. The target will be the one that ends up taking the fall alone.

If or when the snake actually does get caught, they may still try (and sometimes succeed) to find a way out of taking responsibility. One tactic is where the snake might fall back on excuses like "I wasn't trained on how to do that" or "I must have misinterpreted the facts" ("twisted" them was more like it). The snake will do whatever possible to ensure that fault for this lack of training or misinterpretation falls on the target. The snake has a forked tongue that is smooth enough to whip out some lame explanation that most sane people would recognize as nonsense, but it sounds good to those still in awe of the snake.

Sticks and Stones and Words

What ultimately makes the two-headed snake such an annoying person to work with is the way they play the other side of the fence behind the target's back. Be on the lookout for supervisors/coworkers that are always present in places that are hot spots for workplace gossip, such as offices and break areas, but also in places as public as hallways or lobbies. Most people who have a "disagreement" will confront the other person by pulling them aside and having a professional discussion about their disagreement. The two-headed snake uses the power of words and the strength of numbers to destroy the target behind the target's back.

The two-headed snake is a liar, but possibly worse than lying is when the snake will take a snippet out of a larger conversation and use that minor element of truth to create an avalanche that will completely ruin the credibility of their target. The target has no clue that the snake is maligning their reputation behind their back - remember, to the target, the snake is friendly and helpful - qualities of a good professional relationship. This allows the snake to get information that the target might not ordinarily divulge to someone. The snake will then spill the beans about what the target said to anyone that will listen. What may have been meant to be confidential becomes fodder for "water cooler" talk in front of God and everyone.

The snake builds alliances by exaggerating small elements of truth about their targets in order to make others turn against the target as well. Keep in mind that even if the two-headed snake "works" in management - where confidentiality is paramount - the snake will not hesitate to divulge their own version of even the most sensitive of information about their target. This gives the reader an even gloomier vision when it comes to the snake. By the time people realize that the snake has been lying or telling half-truths, it is usually too late to fix the damage that has been caused to the reputation of the target and to the relationships among coworkers.

Mob Rules

The two-headed snake doesn't treat everyone like dirt. They are nothing without an audience that is willing to listen to what they say about their target. These are usually people who generally have no preconceived opinion of the target or they feel a bit of a twang against the target to start with. They become sympathetic to the snake's message in little time at all. These are the people that the two-headed snake counts on to be moles. Often they will help the snake in the snake's pursuit of juicy gossip to spread about the target. This type of situation eventually becomes what is known as mobbing. In fact, few "loner snakes" are successful in their quest to denigrate the target. Two-headed snakes need that audience and that following to allow their message about the target to spread. Who is the message spread to? The message gets spread to people who are cooperative with the target. The message is designed to turn as many people against the target as possible until the target has few if any allies left in the workplace. The first to "fall" are those people that are not as close to the target as real friends, but closer than people that have an ax to grind with the target. It escalates from there - friendly coworkers eventually alienate the target if for no other reason than personal survival.

If there is any comeuppance at all that a target can count on is the fact that the two-headed snake is usually so despicable that they will eventually turn on their allies. These cohorts always count on the snake to be even-handed with them - until the snake has used them as much as possible. Then they get thrown to the curb with the rest of the trash. Once on the "bad list," always on that list. Many times, the only way off of it is to quit - they are no longer welcome in the snake's inner circle and no one else in the workplace trusts them due to their former affiliation with the snake. The double-crossing nature of this beast makes it one of the worst types of toxic personalities in the workplace.

Killing the Snake

What usually leads to the two-headed snake's downfall in this scenario is when their own incompetence catches up with them. I'm a big believer in "walking the talk." Those who spend time in direct company with the two-headed snake soon find it amazing how easily the snake has avoided actually practicing the tricks of the trade. They seem to have a distaste for doing anything that might "get their hands dirty." Be leery of any co-worker that regularly avoids "walking the talk."

Don't tell anyone anything you don't want everyone to know. The main weapon in the two-headed snake's arsenal comes from words out of their target's mouth. While it is not fair to "blame" the target for the misfortune of falling prey to the snake, it is fair to say that exposing anything that can be construed as "dirty laundry" is never a good idea. Giving the snake ammunition is the easiest way to fall into their clutches. So as in poker, keep your cards close to the vest, do your job as best you can and keep in mind that people at work are coworkers first, not friends. Let friendships develop over time - don't automatically accept that a glad hand is connected to a nice person. It may sound cynical, but this is your career at stake. That's right - YOUR career - keep it safe, successful and in YOUR hands!

My source for this article includes various information I gathered from Workplace Bullying Institute.