Colin Quinn (of "SNL") Performs "Long Story Short" at the Broadway Playhouse in Chicago

Chicago, IL, August 25, 2011 Colin Quinn, who spent 5 seasons as a cast member on "Saturday Night Live," has brought his one-man show "Long Story Short" to Chicago from the Helen Hayes Theater on Broadway and the Bleecker Street Theatre (Off-Broadway). His one-man show played on August 25, 2011 at the Broadway Playhouse near Water Tower Place. The material involves a history of the world written and performed by Quinn, not unlike Eddie Izzard's one-man show (only not as funny) and is billed as "directed by Jerry Seinfeld," a ploy which has to help ticket sales.

Quinn always had a somewhat sarcastic personality on "SNL." I don't remember him doing much physical humor. His overview of the world, purporting to show how "the world has changed, but humankind has not" was improved by lighting designer Howell Binkley and production stage manager Daniel J. Kells, (among others.)

Rather than come onstage and stand there alone with a microphone, no props, and do jokes as most stand-up comics must, Quinn has chosen a set that consists of an elaborate set of gold steps and pillars and a plasma screen that shows images of various countries and cities throughout history, which the comic then attempts to smoothly craft into a comedy routine. Not easy, I'm sure.

Quinn had a few worthwhile one-liners, most of them courtesy of the Greeks. "An unexamined life is not worth living," is followed up by "An examined life is not that interesting, either." Timely comments about the stock market, the Greeks invention of theater. [To hear Quinn tell it, the Greeks only invented theater so that they could diss their neighbors with impunity; then their kids got hooked on it (television analogy)], which was followed by another classic rip-off: "I know now that I know nothing." (Sophocles). There's no joke there, but that's fairly representative of much of the show.]

Yes, there are some funny throwaway one-liners and nobody knows how difficult it is to write 75 minutes of onstage funny better than me ("Laughing through Life" is my latest book-length attempt). So I'll give him credit for making the attempt, but I just kept thinking of Eddie Izzard's brilliant HBO Special. Frankly, Izzard's is a hard act to follow that is similar, which this is

Quinn, a Catholic by birth, referenced going to Confession in a dark booth and likened it to "telling your secrets to a man who might have a poster of Just Bieber on his wall." He suggested that, given the Catholic Church's recent troubles with pedophile priests, "They could lose the kneeling for a couple of years until things calm down." At this point, Quinn was actually kneeling onstage, but this foray into physical humor was atypical. Quinn isn't really the kind of guy like the late great Richard Pryor or the current Dane Cook who does much physical humor. When he does, it seems forced and unnatural, not his forte, as when he referenced people who scratch themselves or poke you while you're talking to them.

During the 75-minute act (no intermission), which began promptly at 7:30 p.m. and ended just as promptly at 9:00 p.m. despite a standing ovation, with no encores, Quinn hit many of the current and former hot-spots in the world: Greek, Rome, Spain, England, Ireland, Israel ("Shalom means hello and good-bye because the Jews, wherever they go, get chased out immediately." Made me wonder about Hawaiians, and "Aloha," which also has that distinction). Holland, the Mayans, the Aztecs, Russia ("experts at perfecting depression"), Sudan, Canada ("Nobody wants to live there. There's something about Canada that creeps people out. It's like it's 8 inches to the left. Even their national anthem is dismissive: "Oh, Canada.")...All these countries come in for some comic jabs.

With lines (re the Australians) like "God bless those alcoholics...There are 6 planets closer to us than Australia is right now" and comparisons of the world today to a bar at 3:30 in the morning ("Iraq is in the parking lot. He says he has a gun. He's talking shit!") and ripping off those oh-so-hilarious Greeks time and time again ("We are what we repeatedly do," Aristotle), Quinn has woven a Cliff's Notes, or, in this case, a Quinn's Notes version of history that has its moments.