College 101: The Dangers of Over-Commitment

I'm Candice.

And I over-commit myself.

I have been this way for as long as I can remember. When I was in high school, I played basketball, acted in the different shows, maintained a 3.81 GPA, went to Presidential Classroom, competed in pageants, acted professionally and worked several jobs. I don't know why I did it, I just did. Maybe it was because I had such a busy mind. If I reflect on why I busied myself with so many things in high school, I can come up with a few theories. First of all, there were several bullies in my school that picked on me, and I busied myself to avoid them. Second, my mother worked in the school district, so I busied myself to make her look good. Third, I missed my father (even if he was/is a deadbeat), so I busied myself with other things so I wouldn't think about him. Fourth, I was searching for people to fit in with. The list goes on and on.

You would think that something like this would change when I got into college. Being in a new city (Washington, DC) actually made my over-commitment worse. I took on 18 credits my freshman year, including a French class when I had never taken french before. I acted in two theatre troupes on campus. I worked at Victoria's Secret. I modeled and acted professionally. I visited home (in NY) as much as I possibly could. If I didn't go to NY, I visited my Uncle Tony an hour away in Montclair, VA. I went through sorority rush and pledged Phi Sigma Sigma. I was a member of several clubs, including Program Board and College Republicans. I participated in a work-study program. I wrote for the school newspaper. I wrote my own plays. I made new friends. I had a boyfriend. You get the idea. And, when I look back into college and try to figure out why I took on so many commitments, the answers are eerily similar to that of high school: I missed my mom, and busied myself so I wouldn't think about her. I wanted to fit in. I wanted to do my family proud. And so on.

I even did it in graduate school, in Anchorage, AK. Ask Dionne. She was there. I organized and ran my own improvisational acting troupe, Gagged & Bound. I took 9 graduate credits. I worked at Old Navy. I was the Features Editor of the school newspaper. I started writing on Epinions. I had a boyfriend. I traveled home a few times. I was a Graduate Assistant. I ran myself into the ground and I got really sick.

Unfortunately, I still can't seem to stop over-committing myself. Right now, I'm seriously working 7 different jobs, writing 2 novels and at least 1 play, painting the spare bedroom, traveling, designing websites and much more. And, once again, I'm sick.

So, What's Your Point?
Over-commitment is something that is very easy to get into, and not so easy to get out of. Not only can you stress yourself out or literally make yourself sick, you can leave a bad impression on others if you don't follow through with your commitments. Plus, not following through on your own commitments can cause you to stress yourself even more. Heck, it can even be a blow to your self-esteem.

If you don't finish something in time, you might start asking yourself questions such as "Why didn't I finish that project?" and "Why don't I want to go to work? and even "Am I a failure?". No, you're not a failure. You're just human, like everyone else. There are only so many hours in the day. You need to make the best of it.

Admitting it is the first step.
Do you find yourself taking on many different projects? Are you the go-to person when something needs to be done? Do you hear yourself saying "yes" to things you know that you should turn down? Do you have more than 2 jobs and 14 credits? Then you're probably like me. You're an over-committer.

Commitment isn't a bad thing. It is always good to get involved. The key is to not get in over your head, which is very easy to do-- Especially when you get into college.

Just Say No!
Since college is a new place and new experience, it is very easy to get swept away in everything, and agree to participate in a lot of activities. You must learn to create a budget of your time. Act accordingly. If you're playing sports, working a job and taking 16 credits, it's probably not such a good idea to pledge a sorority.

Make a list of priorities. What is the most important aspect of college for you? Hopefully, it is your education. Keep writing your priorities on the list-- and make sure you include "health" for yourself. Perhaps there is a theatre group that you really want to be a part of, but also a Spanish club that you are interested in. Which is more important? Factor in study time, too.

Once you have your priorities listed, list how many hours a day you must spend on each priority. Perhaps you are taking 15 credits, which translate to about 5 classes. How long will studying for each class each day take? Factor that into your list. Same goes for work and extra-curricular activities. Granted, you might not stick to your budget 100%, but it will certainly help give you a guideline that you should follow.

In Conclusion
Don't end up like me. I'm out of college and still dealing with over-commitment issues. Learn how to deal with them before they begin, and you will have a richer college experience. Don't overextend yourself or spread yourself too thin. Enjoy college while you're there. If you've got too much to do, it will just pass you by.