College Relationships in the Summer Pt. 2 - Coping with Summer Issues

In the first part of this two-part article, I described the four things that can impede or make difficult a college relationship during the summer. I named these as follows: distance, obligations, travel, and adjusting. The first part of this two-part article was purely descriptive. That is to say it offered no solution or remedy to some of these problems. In this article, I intend to make some suggestions on how a college couple can overcome or at least reduce the effect of some of these summer problems.

Summer College Relationship Solution #1 - Distance
I consider there to be three categories of relationship distances: short-distance, medium-distance, and long-distance. I'd say that short-distance relationships are relationships wherein a couple lives within about half an hour or forty-five minutes of each other. These couples could see each other on a frequent, regular, even daily basis. Medium-distance relationships might include couples that live between an hour and three hours away from each other. These couples can see each other infrequently, yet regularly. And couples in long-distance relationships have driving distances of more than three hours and the couples can see each other only infrequently and irregularly. Clearly, college relationships become more difficult with distance.

I'm not going to give short-distance couples advice. If you start a relationship in college with someone that lives within a half-hour or forty-five minutes of you, you should be able to navigate most issues. You're fortunate in that you can have a very close to "normal" relationship.

Couples in medium-distance relationships - before you go home for the summer, try to block out some periods of time that you'll try to see each other. You can share these dates with your families and employers so that you'll be free. Two- or three-day visits are nice when possible, and if you live close enough you can also meet in the middle and spend the occasional day together between longer visits.

If you are in a long-distance relationship, you need to start planning early. Talk to your respective families and determine a couple weeks towards the middle of the summer (for example, early June and the middle of July) that would be available for a longer visit. This will keep you from having to go for more than a month or so without seeing one another. If necessary, start looking for plane tickets in advance. Make sure that you notify employers about these times so that you'll be free.

Distance can make college relationships difficult during the summer. To deal with it, make sure that you communicate with your significant other frequently. Videochatting and talking on the phone aren't the same as being with an actual person, but they're better than nothing.

Summer College Relationship Solution #2 - Obligations
Summer jobs, classes, and volunteering all take time from an individual's schedule. In this respect, college students that are farther away from one another have an advantage. It is unlikely that these obligations will affect the amount of time that these couples can spend together. But if you are in a short- or medium-distance relationship with your significant other, it can be difficult to plan time together due to these obligations.

While couples in short-distance relationships might be inconvenienced by obligations like these, they should be able to work around them with some effort. For example, you could let an employer know that you would prefer not to work on a certain day of the week. You could also try to volunteer on the same day so that your schedules match, more or less.

For couples in medium-distance relationships, the best thing that you can do to work around obligations such as these is to plan things in advance. If you can plan visits and let employers know ahead of time that you'll be away or busy, you'll be more likely to get time off.

In some respects, having obligations during the summer can be helpful. Being busy can make time seem to pass more quickly. Volunteer hours can be put on future resumes. A summer income can ensure that you and your significant other can afford to go on dates when the fall semester arrives. Just make sure that you make time for your relationship as well.

Summer College Relationship Solution #3 - Travel
The summer is a great time to travel for college students. However, it can also make a college relationship difficult. To compensate for travel, try to keep in touch with your significant other on a frequent basis, perhaps buy some souvenirs, and even take your significant other on a trip if possible. You don't have to remain glued to your cell phone if you go on a trip, but a sweet text message or two can be nice. Most places in the world have some level of internet access, so email one another if nothing else is possible.

Summer College Relationship Solution #4 - Adjusting
The process of adjusting to the summer months while in a college relationship is hard for couples that are not in short-distance relationships. I'm not going to lie - it's really difficult. It might take weeks or months, and even then it won't have happened entirely. To some extent, I think that if you ever completely adjust to not seeing your significant other, you're not meant to be in a relationship. This is my personal opinion, and if you are in a casual relationship it might not be as difficult. For me, it's been difficult.

The best things you can do to adjust to being apart from your significant other during the summer are to communicate regularly and to make sure that your significant other knows about your feelings for him or her. Accept that you'll be apart for some or most of the summer. In that context, appreciate the time that you can spend together even more. Try to have memorable experiences during visits. Communicate frequently. Don't make mountains out of molehills. Beyond this, there's not much you can do other than to live with the situation. Fortunately, summer is only about four months long.

So these are some solutions and ways to cope with being apart from your significant other while in a college relationship during the summer. This list, of course, does not take into account other possible relationship issues such as jealousy or infidelity. Those are things that you and your significant other will have to address on your own. If you have any other suggestions for getting through summer in a college relationship, feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of a comment. Thank you for reading!