Columbo Rocks My World!

Okay, how to get away with the perfect murder in 1970's Los Angelas.

First of all, when the little Italian guy in the dirty Mack shows up and introduces himself as Lt. Columbo, shut your trap. Don't say anything. You will give yourself away with as simple a comment as "the sky was blue". Columbo will not only question the validity of this statement, he will present indisputable proof to you that the sky could not possibly have been blue.

Second: Don't be helpful. By being helpful and answering questions and putting yourself at his disposal you are simply giving him too much information. Shut your trap.

Third: When Columbo asks a simple question about something 'that's been bothering' him (and he will. many times.) don't suddenly remember why the window was open or that, yes you were there that day actually but it slipped your mind. Shut your trap.

Fourth: Soon, you will grow weary of seeing Columbo and you will run out of lies and excuses so you will try to avoid him. You will even start to grow short tempered and start snapping at him. This is a bad idea. Shut your trap.

Five: When Columbo shows up with a uniformed officer, don't bother listening to what Columbo has to say or make up any more lies. Simply present your hands for cuffs. You will be under arrest within three minutes.

Attention all Bad Guys: Columbo is smarter than you. Columbo has seen more and done more. Columbo has more people at his disposal than you. Columbo will get you. If you believe you have committed the 'perfect murder' and Columbo shows up at your door 'to aks a coupla questions', turn yourself in immediately. He already knows you done it.