Combat PTSD and the Affect on the Family

Anxiety, depression, isolation, and compensation. Although this list could be attached to any number of illnesses or disabilities, it is just a small list of problems that arise in people with Second Hand PTSD. Suffering from PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can be debilitating but what about the children and spouses who suffer from Second hand PTSD? PTSD can actually be "transferred" from the person suffering from it to another person who is either closely related to or living with them.

Little, if anything is known about second hand PTSD and more often than not, the symptoms mimic so many other illnesses that a person is treated for the wrong malady, or not treated at all.

My only experience in second hand PTSD is from personal experience of what occurred in our family. If you are the child of a Combat Vietnam Vet, chances are you have some level of second hand PTSD. My brother and I have been on a 35+ year "adventure" as children of a combat Vietnam Vet. It has only been in the last 9 years that I have even remotely begun to understand what the impact of my father's service in Vietnam had on our lives as children and now as adults.

The drastic differences between siblings with second hand PTSD should be studied; but in our case, it is more than evident. I took on, for the most part, the role of the rescuer: compensating for the lack of parenting by our father. My brother showed classic signs of the emotionally uninvolved child: he was angry and always had a very high anxiety about everything.

There are many different behavior problems that come from living with someone who has PTSD. In my case, it was not until I was married with a child that most of the issues surfaced. I found myself "acting out" in the same manner that I saw as a child. When it began happening I had no idea that I was doing it or even that it mimicked my father. To this day, even though I now know what it is, I can feel it happening but have a tough time controlling it. Research has shown that children of abuse often grow up to be abusers themselves and even though it was emotional and verbal abuse in my case, it is still devastating. I don't transfer the verbal or emotional abuse but there are aspects of my father that come through in the way I handle situations and the way that I interact with my husband at times.

Isolation is a major component of some combat vets that suffer from PTSD. Our family was isolated from just about anyone and anything outside the walls of our home. Amazingly, my father's best friend, also a Vietnam Veteran, who he leaned on and who lent support did not know us until we were adults. My brother and I were the same age as his children and even though we should have been able to find comfort in their company; we were isolated from them as well.

Having second hand PTSD is very serious; it is not to be taken lightly. Secondary PTSD can also be called Compassion Fatigue, a newer type of PTSD that is found in professionals who deal with trauma victims. Personally, I don't believe that there is enough information or studies out there to compare the two. I don't believe that you can really compare Secondary PTSD to what I have read about Compassion Fatigue.

By understanding and educating ourselves, we can learn more and more about this illness. It is my hope that more studies are being done and help is around the corner for those that may have Second hand PTSD. It took a good 30+ years for the seriousness of PTSD to come to light and the Veterans of Vietnam are just now getting the help that they need. They have paved the road for our combat troops that are serving now. Hopefully the wives and children of our present day troops will not have to suffer in silence without any knowledge of what is going on. If you think that you suffer from some form of PTSD or Secondary PTSD; seek help. It is important to locate someone who either specializes in PTSD or Combat Veterans. Finding other people who are going through the same things that you are going through is important in the healing process.