Spiderman, Batman, Iron Man and Thor are all comic books heroes who have established a motion picture franchise filled with big budgets, big stars and big box office returns. The first decade or two of the 21st century is likely to be looked back upon by future generations of movie lovers as the Age of the Comic Book Movie. A number of attempts to exploit this trend have been less successful than those mentioned above. Soon enough, all the really big names in comic book superherodom will be used up and filmmakers will be forced to turn their attention to lesser known comic book heroes. Here are some actual comic book superheroes that are destined to rank among the least likely to earn their own movie franchise.
Hoppy, The Captain Marvel Bunny
Hoppy. Very original name for a rabbit, yes? Hoppy led two lives: he was small and frail in his everyday guise. When he became a comic book superhero, however, he was taller, more cut, attired in a costume not considerably different from Superman's except he sported a lighting bolt over his chest. Superpowers for Hoppy, the Captain Marvel Bunny include jackrabbit speed and, amazingly, the capacity for mortality even without the benefit of an atmosphere with breathable air. Hoppy lived in Funny Animalville along with a galpal named Millie and a squirrelly friend named Zeke. Hoppy's tie to more familiar comic book hero Captain Marvel comes courtesy of wondering if the word SHAZAM will have the same transformative effect on his as it does on Billy Batson. Would there have been a Hoppy, the Captain Marvel Bunny had it not?
The Fighting Armenian
Man, oh, man, wouldn't you love to be able to eavesdrop on the meeting taken to market a comic book movie titled "The Fighting Armenian" to the suits at Hollywood studios? This particular comic book superhero starts out as a kind of human equivalent to Hoppy, the Captain Marvel Bunny. Sergei Baginski is a communist spy with hardly the physique to do battle against James Bond and his ilk. One operation that takes almost two days later and Sergei no longer has most of the organs with which he was born. The surgery replaced his skin and transformed his entire neurological system as well. The Fighting Armenian's mission is to infiltrate America and make the world safe for communism with his new physique. Unfortunately, for the Soviets and their satellites, the Fighting Armenian defects and goes to work against his former comrades.
Zot!
This comic book superhero that seems very unlikely to get his own movie franchise exists on an alternate Earth. His life is going along quite normally as Zachary T. Paleozogt. Zot has a story kind of like Batman in that he loses his parents when they exit the door one day and mysteriously never return home. Zot is then raised by his family's butler Peabody. Very much like Batman so far, yes? Just like Bruce Wayne, the young boy looks outward to contain his grief over missing his parents and becomes adept at physical as well as intellectual efforts. One day the decision dawns on him that he could use his talents to protect others and he fortunately has an uncle named Max who is one of those crazy inventors capable of providing Zot with all the weaponry and gadgets he needs. All this happens before Zot even reaches his teens. Once this comic book superhero does become eligible to watch a PG13 movie by himself, a key to a portal in space that can take one from Zot's alternate Earth to our Earth as well as other dimensions is stolen. Robot villains are intent on chasing down this key to use it for their assaults on these other dimensions, but Zot is intent on not letting such a devastating even happen.
Matter-Eater Lad
His name is Tenzil Kem and he lives in the 30th century. Tenzil is sent to Earth to be schooled and soon finds a home alongside the other members of the Legion of Super-Heroes. His name provides insight, somewhat, into why he is a comic book superhero. His name, unfortunately, provides insight into why he is not very likely to become a comic book superhero movie franchise unto himself. Tenzim's secret superpower is: extreme metabolism. In other words, Tenzim can consume any matter that exists anywhere in the universe except for Magnozite, which only exists on his home planet. A person capable of eating any matter can put that heroic power to work only so many cases, so Matter-Eater Lad really exists more importantly as a superhero with personality. He's funny, but in a surreal or absurdist way that often comes across as simply mean-spirited. An indication of the humor associated with Tenzim, Matter-Eater Lad, is that his home planet is named Bismoll. The capital of the planet is not, unfortunately, named Pepto.
Published by Timothy Sexton - Featured Contributor in Arts & Entertainment
Timothy Sexton was named this site's very first Writer of the Year. Today he has two daily columns and one weekly column on Yahoo! Movies as well as frequent irregular contributions. Mr. Sexton was twice nam... View profile
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