Comical Names People Christen Their Private Parts

The things people do are just funny. The names they christen their penises and vaginae with are even funnier. Applying human characteristics to a body part can be quite entertaining, and I'm sure makes it easier for some to talk dirty about their stuff if they can refer to it in the third person! This is my top 10 list of funniest names I've heard given to people's genitals.

Penises

Sir Pantsalot (This might be more appropriate for a tongue. Makes a guy's schlong sound thirsty)

Hambone Harry (or maybe that's Hairy?)

Hairy Friend (This would make me run away)

The Mighty Thor (God of Thunder, eh? It remains to be seen)

Dr. Dick, OBGYN (This one does free pap smears)

Hector (I always thought this was the name of your dog, Chris!)

Mr. Pickle (There were lots of pickle references)

The Electric Eel (Hmmnnn...shocking!)

Hugo (All the way from New York, live, it's Hugo!)

Captain Hook (Good grief! Does it bend to the left and get caught in one's cheek? Ouch!)

Vaginae

Muffy (Sounds like a preppy sorority girl)

Barracuda (I would think men would shy away from putting their hairy friend into a barracuda. Plus, fishy names are bad advertisement.)

Miss Pitty Pat (Meh. Cutesy)

Pussy Willow (Not sure if a droopy tree reference is the way to go. It's green, but could imply she has "curtains")

Pussy Galore (Love the James Bond reference, and more than enough to go around.)

Mama Kat (She sounds hungry!)

Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

Dark Chocolate (This vag is filled with antioxidants, healthier, and is just meant to be drizzled over your nut clusters!)

Betty (Thanks Bob, for spilling on your Aunt Becky)

Delicious Delilah (Well, that's just good advertisement!)

Send me your best names for your junk to megwynn@msn.com and I'll run a second list featuring your sick, twisted little meat monikers!

As always, follow me on Twitter @ MicheleGSASexam

All articles by Michele Gwynn are under copyright and cannot be reposted in part or whole without written permission by the author. For permission, email megwynn@msn.com.