Comment Wars and the Art of the Debate

What exactly is a comment war? Well some see it as a street fight, a brawl--a bloody one at that. Hence the title Comment Wars...

I see it as a spirited debate. I say spirited because there is usually no referee and things can get butt ugly between you and your adversary--especially if you have a difference of opinion.

However, even in the worst case scenario, I see it as no worse than playing a video game that involves a lot of kung fu fighting. ♫Everybody was kung fu fighting! dee da deet deet diddly deet deet♫ I love that song! But I digress.

My point here is that whether I win or lose the war or whatever you choose to call it, it was all good fun. WTF! How can something like that be fun, you ask? Simple, you must get back and keep your perspective.

You are not really in a war or a street brawl. Like names, comment threads can never hurt you. If push comes to shove, you can always click to another web page or log off--problem solved. Isn't that lovely? People who argue in the real world don't have that luxury. You can't just switch off your nagging spouse or friend or enemy.

Because we are in the virtual world of the internet, we have more control. No matter what happens it is "only the internet." Simply flip the big red switch if you get fed up. Take a walk, breathe the fresh cool air, smell the flowers and get hay fever. (I wish I could flip the switch on hay fever. AAAHHH CHUUUUUU!) Excuse me.

In short, keep it all in perspective and have fun. Don't take it SO seriously. This is the most important rule of the art of debate.

Another important thing you have to keep in mind is you might actually lose. Can you handle that? If you can't, then don't debate. It is not for you. Go in peace my friend. Ommmmmm....

If you think debates are evil or harassing then don't engage in them. Learn to ignore challenging comments. It takes two to tango and two to debate. If you choose to engage and you feel harassed, whose fault is it really?

Never underestimate your adversary, nor overestimate yourself. This is where so many debaters go wrong. We humans have a natural tendency to think we are just a little or a lot smarter and better than everyone else in just about every way. Some call it arrogance, some call it ego. Get rid of it before you get chewed up and spit out!

Also, do your homework; do your homework; do your homework! So many debaters come unprepared and they are shocked and humiliated when their asses are handed back to them on a swizzle stick.

Now I am going to tell you the secret to winning any debate you engage in: Before you debate, make sure you're right. This is where doing your homework comes into play. It is oh so important that you know what the hell you are talking about when you debate someone.

You can out debate someone who is smarter than you if you have done your homework and he hasn't. Case and point: I, a non-attorney, recently defeated some very prominent and experienced attorneys in court recently. How? I did my homework and came to court totally prepared. They in turn made the mistake of underestimating me because I was not a lawyer.

If you have half a brain and make sure you're right before you debate, you can beat just about anyone who is arrogant, lazy and thinks he knows everything. That would include experts in any field. You therefore need not be intimidated by experts.

Experts are often wrong. Scientists, for example, never seem to get anything right. That is why they have changed and modified their theories so often over the course of history. I can almost guarantee you that what is considered valid scientific fact today will be deemed a fallacy sometime in the future.

Because knowledge is constantly evolving, predictions experts make rarely ever come to pass. If you are a gambler like me, always bet against predictions experts make. Back in '99 I bet a friend of mine five bucks that Y2K would be a dud. Well, I'm happy to report I'm five dollars richer--and I won the butt-ugly debate we had as well.

Don't get me wrong; experts are not stupid--but they are often incredibly arrogant. That is why you can beat them in a debate provided you do your homework before you debate them.

So what do you do if things get ugly? Well, that's up to you. You can make your exit at that point. There is no honor lost since no one will be confiscating your land or property. After all, it is only a comment thread--not a cancer diagnosis.

As for myself, I have been told that I'm a nice guy with nuclear capabilities. If you are wondering where Iraq's weapons of mass destruction disappeared to, look in my back yard.

My strategy is to use the golden rule. I will be civil with you as long as you are civil with me. But if you get nasty and call me names, prepare to get nuked!

Finally, whether your debate is intellectually stimulating or a battle of wits, always be a good sport. You will note that even in mixed-martial arts contests the contestants, after beating each other senseless, shake hands and hug each other when the match is over.

So "keep a stiff upper lip" as the British say, mate, and try to enjoy yourself and more importantly--enjoy life.