Comments on Gwyneth Paltrow's "Anti-American" Views

By now, you've heard that our own American sweetheart, actress Gwyneth Paltrow, now married to a Brit and living in London, apparently criticized fellow Americans as being less intelligent and civilized than our British counterparts. Since then, Paltrow has backtracked, saying to People magazine that comments published in a Portuguese paper were based on comments made in Spain. She blames her Spanish for the misunderstanding, but, as a Spanish teacher who has heard Gwyneth speak almost flawless Spanish, I find this explanation is a little weak. She apparently wanted to say that Americans live to work while Europeans work to live and that they talk about more interesting topics than money and work. We've all had our moments when we could have been more diplomatic, right? But the question is, is Gwyneth right after all?

Having lived and worked in the U.S. and Europe, I hate to say it, but some of what she says is true. Americans are among the hardest-working people on the planet, taking fewer vacation days than workers in almost any other country. Why is that? We live to work and, moreover, we love to work - it's just that simple. Maybe it's our frontier history that has instilled in us a deeply ingrained need to work even when we're not working. Just take a look around your neighborhood on any given weekend. I'll bet a lot of neighbors are cutting the grass, cleaning out the car, painting the trim, weeding the flower beds, and on and on. You don't see a home improvement store on every corner in Europe as you do in the U.S. Most of us just don't know how to relax for any length of time without getting incredibly antsy, which is good and bad, I suppose. We would probably go insane on a six-week European-style holiday. I'll be the first to admit that, living in the U.S., I feel mildly guilty if I take the day off and just loaf around on a Saturday. I only do that if it's to take the kids somewhere or to visit family. And then I make up for it by doing extra projects the next day!

Yet, when I lived in Europe, the weekends were all about fun and socializing. In Spain, for example, weekends are devoted to going out to eat, sitting at an outdoor cafe, meeting up with family and friends, visiting a little village, window shopping, pretty much anything that does not involve work. I have always admired that about Europeans - that ability to just relax and enjoy life. My European husband is sometimes frustrated by the whole "busy, busy, busy" mentality we've developed since moving back to the U.S. Americans will say that Europeans are just lazy, but, in the end, why are we on this planet - to enjoy what time we have here or to have the most weed-free lawn on the block?

Gwyneth's also wrong in some ways. Americans aren't uncivilized nor are they unintelligent. As many have remarked since her comments were made, America is a hugely diverse country. If you find your acquaintances are uncivilized and unintelligent, you probably need to find new friends. I would imagine that Gywneth's experiences are more a consequence of unfortunate friendships in Hollywood than true feelings that our entire country is backward. And I'm sure she would agree that making sweeping generalizations about a country or people is not a sign of "intelligence" either.

What I find civilized about Americans is the interest Americans show in those around them. When I first returned to the U.S.. I was struck by how deeply you can get to "know" someone in a grocery store line or at the bank. By that, I mean that people in the U.S. generally seem to be much more open than Europeans. The lady behind you in line might strike up a conversation and you end up talking about your family members going through cancer treatments or a recent divorce. A mom at the park will give you her number so that she can pass on some info on a great gym class for the kids. It takes a lot longer to reach this level of intimacy in Europe. When my husband first moved here, he was always wondering why every stranger he met in a store or in line somewhere asked him how he ended up moving to the U.S. At first, he chalked it up to nosiness, until I explained that people are just genuinely interested in your story here. I was also struck by the volunteerism - the "let's make it happen" attitude in the U.S. - whether it's organizing local school and charitable events, working on neighborhood revitalization, or cleaning up the environment. Offering your attention to those around you is very civilized.

Let's not bash Gwyneth. It's probably true that we in the U.S. are very brash go-getters compared with our European neighbors. When you, as an American, are living in these age-old societies that have had centuries and centuries to develop rich cultural, artistic, musical, gastronomic, and literary traditiions, it's all a bit awe-inspiring and it's easy to feel humbled and even a little inferior in ways. It also makes sense that Americans seem a little less civilized. We are a new country, a practical people, with a comparatively short but noteworthy history on the planet. Come back and check with us in a thousand years. We, too, will have deeper traditions, customs, and achievements that will add to our "civility" and "intelligence". There's no shame in being a younger, less experienced and maybe less refined nation - we have things yet to learn, but we also have a youthful energy and can-do spirit that is also enviable.