Common Couples Advice to Avoid Giving Newlyweds

While your well-intentioned friends and family may not have been aware of it when your wedding was taking place, today we know that most individuals will inevitably reflect others' perceptions and expectations of them as time goes by. This truth extends to our marriages. With divorce rates skyrocketing and the family institution taking a troubling plunge, why not build up those newlyweds in your life with positive and hopeful advice? Sure, your loved ones may have bombarded you with warnings and omens about the troubles that follow most married couples, but isn't it possible that you could have done fine without them? Since the traditional method of "helping" young newlyweds doesn't seem to be working, let's try something else shall we? When doling out your wisdom to any newly married couple, avoid giving out the following advice.

Bad Newlywed Tip #1: "Forget about freedom and fun." Marriage used to mean giving up one's hopes and dreams in order to follow each other around, usually with just one spouse doing most of the compromising. Today, technology allows for work from home opportunities, instant communication, and ease of social planning. Not only that, but traditional concepts of marriage are swiftly taking a backseat to more modern, individual approaches. In other words, if today's newlyweds want to go skydiving on the weekends and work from home with their laptops during the week, they probably can. Newlyweds today don't necessarily have to tie themselves down to nine to five jobs, mortgages, and little league. There are no rules.

Bad Newlywed Tip #2: "Start preparing for a family." While accidents can and do happen within marriages all the time, many newlyweds have no intentions of starting families, or at least not right away. While it's a good idea to be prepared to some extent for anything unexpected that might occur in this area, planning a relationship and lifestyle around something that isn't a future goal might be a bad idea.

Bad Newlywed Tip #3: "You'll get over the honeymoon phase." Whoever said this first probably lived in the era of cold water and bare feet. Sure, when you're plowing the fields together, it's hard to find time for romance. Today, fortunately, newlyweds have it a little easier. They can make time for each other more often. With that being true, there's no limit to what a little creativity and love can do for a long term relationship. While that early excitement might not be there at all times down the road, one can always open their eyes to the person they are now married to and appreciate what they have to offer at this stage (rather than desperately trying to make their spouse the exact same person they once were). In other words, just because you don't want it, doesn't mean someone else won't. Look at your spouse through another person's eyes, and you might get recharged with a second round of that "honeymoon" phase.

Bad Newlywed Tip #4: "Make your divorce plans now." Ok, a prenuptial agreement is one thing, but mentally preparing for a divorce before a marriage even begins is usually a bad idea. Many married couples are taking the word "divorce" out of their vocabulary, exchanging the offerings of newly single life for constant, lifetime companionship and family. That means no matter what. Of course, there are certain hardships and special circumstances where this ideal couldn't possibly apply, but planning on divorce as the cure-all for the hard times is an instant marriage killer.

Try to perk up around that sickeningly sweet newlywed couple and offer advice that won't send them running for divorce court. Yes, they have no clue what's coming, but they'll be fine. Don't tell them that they have to become bitter, tired and angry over marriage's hardships, and chances are, they won't.