Common Phrase, "That's so Gay" Creates a Courtroom Battle

SANTA ROSA, Calif. - When student Rebekah Rice was teased by her classmates for her Mormon background, the typical playground taunting went too far. One classmate scoffs her with "Do you have 10 moms?" to which she replies: "That's so gay."

That's so gay.

These three little words would land Rebekah in the principal's office and later spark a courtroom battle over free speech, First Amendment Rights, hate speech and where we should draw the line in schools today.

After the incident which occurred back in 2002, Rebekah received a warning and a note in her permanent file. Her parents were displeased with this and have decided to sue for Rebekah's rights. The family is claiming that [officials at Santa Rosa's Maria Carillo High violated their daughter's First Amendment rights when they disciplined her for uttering a phrase "which enjoys widespread currency in youth culture," according to court documents. (MSNBC)]

They also believe that the school was displaying hypocrisy by not protecting their daughter against the taunting and heckling over her Mormon background but then punishing her for alleged "hate speak" toward homosexuals. They also feel she was singled out because of her family's conservative views toward sex. Rebekah's is certainly not the only case similar to this but it is one of the first to find it's way into the court system.

Rebekah, now 18, testified in court last week about the incident and claims she was not referring to anyone's sexual preference with her comment and that it was a common school yard phrase which meant: "That's so stupid, that's so silly, that's so dumb." Many others will agree that it is a common phrase that is used and it is unfair to single Rebekah out and punish her for something that a large percent of students are saying on a regular basis.

However, the school says they were taking a serious stand against the phrase after a recent hate crime against a homosexual student the year before and that they have a no-tolerance policy regarding the phrase, "that's so gay". It is understandable that the school would take such an extreme approach toward such a touchy topic if they have in fact, had problems with homosexual hate crimes within their school system.

The two sides are not permitted to discuss the case due to a gag order but just the notice of the impending trial in the news has sparked quite a bit of controversy. Derogatory terms have long been used as a form of insults in schools across America and many people feel this is one case of a girl being made the example of what we should change about our country and our children.

But should she be the scapegoat for the cause? How many children have uttered the phrase "oh, that's gay" or "don't be queer" when they intended no sexual connotations whatsoever? Were those children punished? Where do we draw the line and how do we define who has crossed that line?

We can look at the term retarded the same way. Most of us have heard someone use the word retarded not in its literal since but in a derogatory way to describe something or someone they do not like or something that they think is dumb or silly. However, the word being used this way could be very hurtful to someone who actually has a mental or physical handicap.

It's understandable that terms such as these could be offensive to homosexuals or the mentally disabled just like the n-word may be offensive to a black person or "cracker" to a white person. However, when words like "gay" come to have so many different meanings, how can we regulate and enforce how the word is used?

Many of you remember the days when "bad" meant good and "phat" was not an insult to your personal size. So when the word gay, which originally meant "happy" and came to be known as a derogatory term for a homosexual, metamorphoses once again into an all-encompassing phrase for all things unpleasant or disagreeable, can we really begin charging our students for "hate speech"?

Will we write up students that call male students "sissies" because females may see it as hate speech against girls? Where do we draw the line between protecting our students and violated their rights to free speech?

What if in response to her heckling Rebekah had said, "That's so queer" instead? The word queer is traditionally defined as something 'strange' or 'unusual'. Certainly you can understand why she would think the reference to her having 10 moms is strange or unusual. However, the more modern definition of the word is in reference to gays and lesbians, therefore making her comeback offensive.

When taking the conversation in context, it appears that she would intend for it to mean the first definition and not the second. So why would she be written up with a note in her permanent file? Why would she be classified as a provoker of "gay bashing" and "hate speak" when she herself was a victim of prejudice?

Most will agree that we need to teach our students not to use words such as "gay" or "retarded" in this negative context. However, who is to say what context it was used in? How can we define when it is okay to use a certain term in one way, and when it is not? Have we opened a whole new can of worms of political correctness that we must push upon our children by force or fear or reprimand?

MSNBC reports that Rick Ayers, a retired teacher who helped compile and publish the "Berkeley High School Slang Dictionary," a compendium of trendy teen talk circa 2001, said educating students about offensive language is preferable to policing their speech. - MSNBC]

Doesn't this appear to be a much better way to deal with the offensiveness of words and phrases being used incorrectly? Wouldn't it be better to inform our children rather than punish and label them?

So what does Rebekah's family want from all this? Sources report they want "unspecified damages" as well as the disciplinary notation removed from Rebekah's school record.

Many schools are using this case as an example to try to stop the improper use or derogatory uses of words such as this.

No homosexuals were directly involved in the case regarding Rebekah but they do have their opinions regarding the topic. The report from MSNBC states that [Eliza Byard, deputy executive director of the New York-based Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, said nearly nine out of 10 gay students her organization surveyed in 2005 reported hearing "That's so gay" or "You're so gay" frequently.

"It bothers them a lot," Byard said. "As odd or funny as the phrase sounds, imagine what it feels like to be in a setting where you consistently hear it used to describe something undesirable or stupid, and it also refers to you." - MSNBC]

Byard brought some very valid points to the topic and she also states that it's okay to punish students after attempts have been made to educate them. However, who decides when, where and how we educate our children about topics such as these? How do protect our children without oppressing them? How do we control hate speech without impeding free speech rights? It's clear that there are no easy answers.

Some think that Rebekah was wrongfully punished and that she was in fact, the victim here. Some think that the school was just trying to make an example out of her. Others agree that the phrase as it was used has a negative connotation and that we should teach our children not to use it but that formal discipline is not the answer. Perhaps more time needs to be taken to teach our children the importance of words and the impact they can really have on others.

"Gay" as it is defined on the internet:

1. cheery: bright and pleasant; promoting a feeling of cheer; "a cheery hello"; "a gay sunny room"; "a sunny smile"

2. full of or showing high-spirited merriment; "when hearts were young and gay"; "a poet could not but be gay, in such a jocund company"- Wordsworth; "the jolly crowd at the reunion"; "jolly old Saint Nick"; "a jovial old gentleman"; "have a merry Christmas"; "peals of merry laughter"; "a mirthful laugh"

3. given to social pleasures often including dissipation; "led a gay Bohemian life"; "a gay old rogue with an eye for the ladies"

4. brave: brightly colored and showy; "girls decked out in brave new dresses"; "brave banners flying"; "`braw' is a Scottish word"; "a dress a bit too gay for her years"; "birds with gay plumage"

5. offering fun and gaiety; "a festive (or festal) occasion"; "gay and exciting night life"; "a merry evening"

6. homosexual or arousing homosexual desires

7. homosexual: someone who practices homosexuality; having a sexual attraction to persons of the same sex

Resources used for this article: 'That's so gay' prompts a lawsuit

Student sent to principal's office insists it was not a homophobic putdown. Associated Press, MSNBC (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17388702/)