Communicating with Fibromyalgia

I'm sure that if you suffer from fibromyalgia like I do, you've had that moment of utter frustration, trying to communicate with someone, trying to share an idea or just express yourself, and suddenly the words aren't there.

What do you do?

If you're like me, at first, you spent a lot of time grinding your teeth, telling the person the word was "right there" and perhaps using colorful slang to get your meaning across. Over the years, though, I've developed some quick and dirty tricks for helping me through those moments- and helping prevent them, too.

If at all possible, with important communication, I write it down. Whether it's via email or just writing notes to myself to take with me to a doctor's appointment, I no longer rely on the old brain to get me through a situation where I have to have information at my fingertips. I keep a small notebook in my purse in case I'm out and about and the husband calls and says "honey, pick up (a couple of things) from the store." Even two or three things are sometimes too much for my brain if I'm running errands and I know I'm going to be a while before I get to the store. I keep a larger notebook at home near my bed so I can write things down to talk to the doctor about as I think of them, or as they come up. I will then edit them down to the five or so most important things when the appointment is near.

I would do similar things if I had to give a speech or the like- notes on a notecard are invaluable for the momentary brain-freeze brought about by fibro-fog stealing a word or three from your personal cache. As ever, if the fog steals an answer, rely on the old adage: "I'm afraid I don't have that answer at my fingertips- but if you'll let me, I'll do a bit of research and get back to you with it within (insert time frame here)."

If I can't write it down- if I'm on the phone with someone, or I'm face to face with them, I will search my brain's thesaurus for a synonym, and sometimes this works. With good friends, I have a favorite joke- I'll say "noun," or "verb," etc, when fibrofog steals a word from me, and they know what that means, and usually we'll tangent off onto joking about figuring out which word I'm searching for. But naturally, you can't do that with business folks. Which is why since I've gotten sick, I've actually tried to expand my vocabulary. This doesn't help much when it's a simple and very unique word like "orange," but it can be helpful in some cases.

Generally, if you're in a business setting, you'll be able to bring a notebook or notecards- so again, you can have the information at your fingertips. But what if you're at a business lunch with a new client? Well, that'll be a little trickier. My favorite trick is to get the other person involved- people tend to like people who are vulnerable to them, so saying "Oh, blast it, I can't think of the word. You know, the word for the thing, (insert your business item here)." Then your lunch partner jumps in with the word, and you can smile big at them and say "Thank you! Man, I hate when that happens," and go on. And you've not only solved your word-loss, but you've made a connection by letting yourself be a little bit vulnerable.

In general, communicating with fibromyalgia is all about being prepared- the more you can do in writing, the better. You still have situations that you'll be in where you'll have to speak to people, but hopefully by using your head and doing what you can in advance or in writing, when you do have to speak it won't be as taxing on you.