Communication and Cake

"Don't! Just elope."
"Are you sure you know what you are doing?"
"Wait. You're too young. Travel, see the world, and get an education. There's plenty of time."

When it comes to weddings everyone has a story or piece of advice or think they are hilarious with the above material. It is all so cliché and yet when it is you, YOU, the bride or groom - to -be and you are floating on air, in love, and ready to be married, then every piece of information could make or break your special day.

There are tons of wedding planner books out there, websites, and of course your maiden aunt who was always the bridesmaid and never the bride. She can tell you horror stories, so don't sit near her at Christmas. Instead listen to me. The best wedding advice and frankly the key to a successful marriage after the vows are taken is - Communicate.

In theory, you've been dating a while, fallen in love, and perhaps even talked around the subject of marriage, children, and money. If you have not touched on these subjects, then shame on you. In this day and age, there are so many details to building a life. Thus you need to start talking now.

Church or backyard, formal or informal, large or small (and what is your concept of small versus your partner's idea), season of the year, sooner or later, and who's going to pay for the whole shebang? Some men could care less what occurs. They want the bachelor party and then what time to show up. Other men have clear ideas on whether they plan to write vows. Some women have had their dream day planned for years. Time to create a budget and see if you can afford the horse drawn carriage and ice sculptures. And is your guy willing to wear a purple cummerbund?

The details of the day are just that - details. Write a checklist together and again communicate your desires. Make sure you both are creating a day that you'll remember as fun and worthwhile and a true celebration of your commitment to each other. It is YOUR DAY together.

Now, I know there are plenty of young ladies whose folks are forking out the dough and frankly have their own agenda. They intend to milk presents out of every last person whose kids' weddings they had to attend. Sorry, I merely present a harsh underbelly to the wedding world. The wedding day should not represent payback or one-upsmanship or a circus.

Then again, I'm biased. I was married in jeans and a white blouse in front of a justice of the peace. Twenty years later - the marriage still works. We communicated our preferences and fortunately agreed to a low-key wedding day and then a blowout party. Margarita machines are still a bargain.

Two more pieces of advice: No debt and delicious cake. Do not start your marriage in debt over this one special day. Make sure you can afford to feed your guests. In theory they are friends and family and should be happy to be with you and eat finger foods if that's what you can afford. Designer dresses are fabulous, but so is the off the rack from wherever store. If you are smiling and happy as you walk down the aisle, then you are going to feel great, look great, and your pictures will reflect the joy.

Really darn good cake - that's the golden finale of a reception. Truly, go taste cakes at bakeries until you two are nauseous. You'll be happy you did and your guests will leave thinking it was the best wedding ever. Chocolate groom cakes are an added bonus.

Hey, someone sprung the question and someone said yes. You are on the way to the best wedding and marriage, thanks to communication.