Communication with Your Child's School Teacher: Helping Your Child's Teacher Help Your Child

Even though parents and teachers should be working as a team, many teachers find a gap there. Either the teacher is not communicating with the parents as often as she should, or the parents are not responding to messages sent home with much interest. As a former teacher, I know it can be frustrating for both sides when a child is not doing well in school or is having behavioral problems. We all ultimately want what is best for that child. A few tips can help you to help your child's teacher make the learning experience a positive one for your child.

First, let your child's teacher know from the beginning of the school year that you are an interested, involved parent. Arrange a conference with the teacher if possible, through the school secretary. Introduce yourself and tell the teacher about your child. Include any problems the child has had in the past with learning, and the strengths you see in your child. In other words, tell the teacher what makes your child special. This will move your child from being "a name I need to learn" to "Johnny, who loves math, is a little introverted and shy.." Contacting your child's teacher early in the school year will also let the teacher know that you care, that you want to be involved in your child's education, and how she can contact you.

Second, ask your child's teacher what her rules and expectations are for her class. If she lets you know she has the children present a poster presentation to the class the last week of each month, you will be prepared and not running out to buy poster board at the last minute. If she says she will be moving rather quickly through much of the math review at the beginning, and you know your child struggles with math, then you might need to hire a tutor to bring your child up to speed in that subject. Ask about homework, special projects, even tasks that you can do to help your child's class. You might just have knowledge or a talent in an area the teacher would love to have you share with her class. Also remember that your child is not the only child in that class. The teacher has over thirty students who are in her care for their education, and cannot always meet your expectations on one-on-one contact with your child.

Third, after making your initial contact, stay involved. Keep in regular contact with your child's teacher about your child's progress. The teacher may not notify you that your child seems to be having problems. We all wish teachers would, but with thirty plus students, a weekly call to each parent to keep them up to date is not always possible. If you initiate the contact, most teachers are happy to bring you up to date on issues affecting your child's progress.

Fourth, don't take things personally. I have been on both sides of the issue of the teacher bringing a difficult problem with the child to the parent.. I know as a parent it was hard to hear that my little angel was causing havoc in the classroom with her talking. It was also difficult to make that kind of phone call to the parents. A teacher never knows how a parent will react, even though she only wants what is best for your child and her class. Listen to what the teacher says, and make a strong effort not to over-react. Find out what the problem is, and then work with the teacher to find a solution that will work. Consistently dealing with behavioral problems on both the classroom and home fronts will ensure that your child will adapt to the new learning environment better. Remember, it's not meant to be criticism of you as a parent. Even the most well behaved children will occasionally have a behavioral problem in school, whether it be too much talking or not participating or something similar.

Fifth, talk to your child. Let your child know you have talked with the teacher and will be in regular contact. Ask the child to let you know of any problems he or she is having, and ask again about that regularly. Daily ask if there is homework or projects that need to be completed. Check the work he or she brings home. Look at their notes and what section of the textbook they are currently studying.

And lastly, help your child to be prepared. Make sure your child has all of the supplies or other tools of education that will be used in the classroom. Most teachers have very small budgets to buy things for their class, so parents are asked to provide such things as protractors, calculators, and tissue, in addition to paper and pencils. If you can't afford the needed supplies, ask about a program that might be in place to help those children who can't afford to buy the things they need. Sometimes items are donated by other parents who have extra things on hand. Be honest about the problem. Your child's education is more important than pride.

If you take the time to stay an active, involved parent, your teacher's job will be much easier, and your child will benefit tremendously. After all, you and your child's teacher have a common goal, to give your child the best education possible.