Communication: The Key to Any Relationship

The basic foundation of any relationship is trust and communication. Without these key ingredients the future of the relationship is uncertain. What if communication is not a strong part of the relationship, will this alter the relationship in the future? And is it possible for communication to bring back the spark into a relationship that has already faltered?

These are just some of the questions that plaque the mind when a relationship begins to fail. At a loss to figure out what went wrong in the relationship our mind drifts back to the beginning.

In the Beginning

It started with a gentle smile and a kind word. A nervous feeling in the stomach was felt as eye contact was made. Now the sweetest things are being said as our emotions begin to take control. Soon the relationship begins to bloom and grow like a beautiful flower. Then the nurturing of the relationship begins to fade as time goes on.

What happened to all of those long winded conversations that used to continue into the wee hours of the morning? Have we ran the gambit of all known conversation in the universe, or are we just holding unto our inner most feelings? The moment we hide our thoughts in a relationship the special connection between those concerned is lost.

The ability to keep any relationship strong and fresh depends on good verbal stimulation. Of course this omits verbal conversations which usually end up in a twelve round fight. What initially brought the relationship together (good conversation) also helps to ensure the distance of the relationship.

Mental Footwork

Marriage and long term relationships are all about change. Changes in: ideas, priorities, financial concerns, family matters, worries of the future, and regrets of the past. When these thoughts fill the mind it can be very overwhelming to the senses. Adapting to these changes is not always easy to do especially when a long term relationship is concerned.

What if both partners don't share the same opinion? This is where the emotional rub starts, and communication begins to dwindle. Now every time an opinion is stated your mate begins to disagree, and a heated conversation is underway; now any type of communication has flown out the proverbial window.

As time begins to pass silence is usually on one end of the conversation because someone has decided to be silent rather than communicate. Sometimes a word or two might be thrown in for good measure, but the meat of the conversation has been lost. The ego has now been threatened as self preservation is first priority.

With a few simple communicating skills this whole scenario could have easily been avoided if both partners are mentally aware. What is conversation for some could very well be considered a lecture to others. Listed below are several areas of focus which show exactly how communication is the key in any relationship.

Learn to be a Good Listener

Before we had the ability to speak we listened. Our eyes and ears were the sentinels of our world. But as speech came along so did our personalities and also our opinions. Somewhere in the transition of time the ability to listen has been lost in the shuffle of life.

The mere act of just listening to your partner instills confidence in them when they speak. Your attention span is now being measured and weighed whether you realize it or not. All of this information is slowly being filed away in your partners mind. Eye contact is also being checked, so be sure to focus your attention on your partner as they speak.

An emotional bond is being formed every time you listen. Thoughts and ideas are being spoken which might have been held silent for many years. As you learn to be a good listener you realize that somewhere along the line you've also grown emotionally just from the act of listening. Was this meant to happen for a reason, or are we just at the right place at the right time? Amazing things can be learned every day if we only took the time and listened.

Communicate Your Thoughts

The third dimensional mind is a super computer operating at light speed. Thousands of thoughts enter our minds as we try to process them. This state of thought is where our perception of reality can be misconstrued. Now instead of communicating some of these ideas, the mind files them away so they can be debated over and over well into infinity.

As we go over and over these "destructive thoughts" we not only see ourselves in a delusional way, but also others in the same way. The only thing left to do now is to keep all of these thoughts hidden. This is sometimes when depression begins to take control of the mind.

In order to be happy with yourself you must first be able to communicate all of your feelings. Speaking to your partner about your thoughts can provide a new outlook on a situation which might have been overlooked before.

Don't feel inferior when stating your fears to your partner because this is how the emotional bond of trust is formed. When you release these feelings you realize that your emotional outlook is better. Resolving these fear based thoughts helps to eliminate stress and worry in the relationship.

Learn When to Speak, and When to Listen

Listening is the key in most conversations. When it comes to communication with a man and a woman timing is of the essence. Not every day is a good time for some discussions. Some conversations might have to wait until the time is right before discussing the situation.

Some conversations in the relationship are just to be listened to as the speaker purges stress from their system. Other communications are just the complete opposite; learn to be able to discern the difference between these two types of communication.

Although some conversations might start off with just listening, it then changes to you communicating after your partner has subconsciously prompted you to speak. Adjusting to these moods of your partner is an acquired skill once you've grown accustomed to your partner.

No one's mood or day is the same as the day before; everything seems to change with time. This adaptability of change is what helps the relationship evolve into the next level of understanding.

Discuss Decisions with your Partner

A special bond has now been formed between you and your partner. Both you and your partner have listened and spoken candidly to each other, and now is when trust and faith come into play. When any situation arises which is troubling or disturbing seek the advice and council of your partner.

This pooling together of the mind helps to bond the relationship even deeper than before. Through advice and decision making both partners are now molding their sense of perception into one mind. Communication is now beginning to flow in a nice smooth manner just as it was intended.

The once egocentric mind is now being opened to new ways of thought. Now you're learning to understand that two minds are indeed better than one. Every time a decision is made between the two partners trust and respect is obtained.

After a short time the mind begins to ration out opinions in two phases; your opinions, and also your partners. After years with this type of communication both partners are now able to work out the differences with one frame of mind. Sentences are completed by the other partner as similar thoughts begin to ring true in each others mind.

Learn to Accept Different Opinions

This one is the biggie. No one likes to think that they're mistaken much less wrong. With your acquired ability to listen, you can now make your own private judgments and decide your own opinion. The trick to this one is to listen with a clear mind without the ego.

Throughout our lives we're constantly meeting and co-existing with many different types of people. Are these meetings just by chance or is there a lesson to be learned from it all. What we learn from this lesson is all about the diversity of people; what we do with this understanding depends on our perception of reality.

If we learn to communicate with an open mind our future relationships will enrich our lives in more ways than one. Our vocal speech is what differentiates us from the animal kingdom. Now all that we need to do is listen, and think just a second before we speak. The success of our future relationships depends solely on our communication skills, and the ability to hear the silent breaks between the sentences.