Avoid Constant Contact
Talking to your partner all day, every day, could actually be detrimental to your relationship. Regardless of how much you love talking to each other, too much of it may cause one or both of you to get bored or irritated at talking so often. It's good to give your partner a chance to miss you and have feelings of anticipation about when he or she going to talk to you next. Talking a little less can also prevent both of you from feeling smothered. Desire and longing can do great things for a relationship.
Avoid Nitpicking
Being able to express your feelings and opinions to your partner is important, but it's equally as important that the person listen to you. If you nitpick about too many things, he or she may start to tune you out regardless of what you're trying to say, which tends to happen when a person repeatedly hears excessive complaints and criticism from the same person. It's better to make comments about things that really bother you instead of nitpicking about anything and everything your partner does that is slightly off-putting.
Agree to Disagree
Part of good communication with your partner is realizing you don't have to win every argument. It's almost impossible that the two of you will agree on absolutely everything. Depending on the subject, agree to disagree on the matter and realize that even if you two continue to fight about the issue for the next week, it's going to be pointless because you will likely still disagree on the issue at the end of it.
Ask for Something if You Need it
Your partner may know you well, but he or she is not always going to know exactly what you want. If you need or want something from your partner, your best bet is to ask for it as long as it's a reasonable request. Chances are your partner will be more than willing to oblige.
Acknowledge Your Partner's Feelings
As much as you want your partner to pay attention to your feelings, it's important to do the same in return. You should never dismiss how he or she feels. If the person is having certain feelings, there's usually a reason behind it. Certain phrases, such as "I understand" and "I can see how you would feel that way," can mean the world to someone that really wants you to understand where they're coming from. Another phrase that can go along way is "I'm sorry."
Be Extra Cautious During an Argument
It's very easy to say something during an argument that you later wished you didn't. If you feel an argument is taking a turn where you may say something hurtful, step away and take a breather until you calm down. Saying something that upsets your partner will likely upset you as well and it's just going to cause more problems. It's also something you may not be able to rectify once you've said it. Also, avoid accusatory language. Instead of saying what your partner did wrong with phrases such as "You always do things like that.," stick to explaining how you feel using phrases like "I feel upset that we fight about this, so what can we do to make it better?"
Excellent communication requires an equal amount of effort from both of you. It's not going to improve overnight nor is it going to be at the level you want it to be without working on it on a daily basis. The relationship can be even more fulfilling when each of you know that there is a level of communication between you that sets the foundation for getting through the good times and the bad.
Published by Lauren Romano - Featured Contributor in Arts & Entertainment and Lifestyle
Lauren is a freelance writer that predominantly writes about dating & relationships, celebrities, NYC, pets, decorating, crafts and fashion. She volunteers with animals and is grateful to have a job she... View profile
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2 Comments
Post a Commentwhat if ur spouse or partner wants to have sex or make love to 5 or more times a day for almost 9 yrs. together it gets to the point it gets tiring if thats all ur spouse can think of . comment plz
I agree with you, Lauren. Good communication is the lifeblood of a relationship.
Sophie