Comparing Your Baby to Others

If you're anything like me, you dreamed about being a mom since you were a little girl. You could picture yourself holding that little baby and caring for it, doing everything it took to be a good mom. The day arrived and after an initial adjustment period, I think I've done a pretty good job of slipping into the role of mom and taking care of my little angel. Everything seems to be going along just fine---that is until you see another baby doing something that your baby hasn't done yet.

I will admit that being in a variety of classes, mom clubs, and parenting groups gives us an unusually high exposure to babies around the same age as mine. It is for that reason and my over compulsive need to make everything just right that I started to wonder and worry. I had honestly never thought about the milestones because our baby wasn't behind, but now that I had seen some babies that were ahead of the curve it got me thinking. "Why isn't she sitting up?" or "shouldn't she be babbling by now?"--you can really drive yourself nuts. Comparing your baby to others is a dangerous trap that you don't want to get into for a variety of reasons.

I can remember clearly having a mini mom meltdown thinking that our daughter was behind and that we needed to work with her on things to get her up to speed. Come on, sounds silly doesn't it?! After I was able to take a step back and look at myself and how ridiculous of a mom I was being, I realized the lesson that every parent learns at some point in time. You hear it over and over, but you don't understand the significance of it until you are faced with a situation just like mine. "Every baby is different"! The books tell you this, your friends and family tell you this, you hear it on every news story out there, and it is the one truth that carries all through time.

Is it natural to look at other babies and mentally compare your own? Sure, I think that at some point in time every mom or dad does it. The key is to keep it on a healthy level and realize that every baby is already genetically programmed to reach the milestone on their own time. I read that somewhere and it makes a huge difference in my thinking. Your baby will hit those milestones--how many toddlers do you see that aren't sitting up yet? Of course there are exceptions to every rule and thankfully there are wonderful specialists out there to help if a child is really having trouble with development. However a majority of the time, your child will get to each and every milestone on their own timetable.

You can do all the things that will help them to get there such as reading to them, talking to them, giving them tummy time, and developmental toys, and all of that good stuff--it certainly can't hurt. When you feel the urge to compare, just keep telling yourself in your head that they will get to the milestones when they're ready. I repeat it in my head and look at my baby and realize that she is the best thing that could ever happen to a mom. I try on a daily basis to be thankful for everything that I have and not to worry or compare or rush things--we'll get there when it's time.

Don't fall into the trap of comparing your baby, remember that each day is precious and before you know it they will be grown up and you will wish you had the milestones back.