Comparing Herschel Walker's Mental Disorders, Suicide Attempts with Mine

Herschel Walker has announced he has dissociative identity disorder (D.I.D.), formally known as multiple personality disorder. According to ABC news, he has just released a book, "Breaking Free". Walker explains that he has suffered for a long time and, at one point, was playing Russian roulette with a loaded gun. He has contributed some of his success to the disorder. It is a controversial disorder; some believe it is made up, just to get away with one's mistakes. Others have seen the disassociation in patients like Walker.

I have to give Walker credit for coming out and publicly sharing his story. It shows that even with a successful life of fame and fortune, mental illness can rear its ugly head. Mental Illness knows no boundaries and doesn't care who you are or what you have done in life. It is an equal opportunity disorder.

I also have been suicidal in the past. I suffer from bipolar disorder, severe depression, post traumatic stress disorder and anxiety. I have been this way my whole life. I did not realize it until a few years ago when life's stresses became too much on me, and I sunk really low really fast. I couldn't do anything but sleep. I felt worthless and trapped. I felt so bad for decisions I made. I came to the point that I would rather die than suffer like I was. I attempted suicide two times over the course of a year and still did not seek help.

It wasn't until the following year and after my third attempt that I realized that something was not right. Walker came to the same conclusion after sitting at the kitchen table with a gun to his head. I started to see a therapist, and realized how low I had become. She recommended I go to the mental ward. I did and was put on medicine: Lexapro and Seroquel. I had nearly lost my family because of this. My wife stood by my side to a point at which she did not know what to do. Only a couple of months out of the hospital it became apparent that the meds were not working, actually they were making me worse. I crashed again and attempted suicide.

This time I had to go to the hospital. They checked my vitals, and I was fine after having my stomach pumped. It was time for trip No. 2 to the mental ward. This time I was put on different medicine: Effexor XL and Geodon. The Effexor was working pretty well along with the Geodon.The side effects were bad though. My blood pressure rose and I became a zombie. Geodon was too strong; I guess it made feel emotionless and half awake no matter how much sleep I had.

I currently am taking Wellbutrin XL, Seroquel, Celexa, adivan and clonazepam. I am doing OK right now; I have good days and bad days. I want to say to anyone out there contemplating suicide: Don't do it. Life is tough on all of us. We all have our problems and situations, the severity of which is relative. I myself have five children two of which have special needs (learning disabled and autism).

My wife has learning disabilities, ADD and generalized anxiety disorder. I could go on about the difficulties in life I have and am facing, but this is not an autobiography. Suicide is not the answer; you leave behind all that loves you. They suffer greater than any amount you are suffering. I consider myself lucky to have the chance to write this, be a husband and a father to my wife and kids. I met quite a few people in the mental ward and they were there for different reasons and came from all walks of life. Over half of them were there because of suicidal tendencies or attempts.

One person I met was left behind by his wife who did commit suicide. He was so distraught because of it he landed in the hospital. If you do attempt suicide you might be successful and that means no turning back. My last attempt my wife was told by the paramedics that I should be dead with the amount of pills I had took and the blood I lost from my wrist. It is a miracle he said that I was alive. I spent 8 days in ICU and another week in the mental ward. I finally realized that I couldn't die.

I realized that my children needed me, my wife needed me. I have witnessed Lauren dominate in Special Olympics basketball, my daughter Amanda begin talking and walking. My son Arek occasionally mimics the behavior of Alissa, his two-year-old sister. I would of missed all that. I have been able to feel emotion again and not only give love to my family but allow it in return. If you are feeling depressed, seek help. Do not let your ego stop you. If Herschel Walker can do it, then anyone can.

If you need medicine then take it. Only stop if your doctor tells you to. If you are experiencing side effects, tell your doctor. It is better to grab the hand held out to you, rather than pull back and fall. I struggled at first but now my family and friends all know my situation and have moved passed the shocked stage. I can't say it enough it is OK to get help if you need it. Good Luck to all of you and good luck Herschel Walker.

sources:
Herschel Walker: 'Tell the World My Truth' - http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/story?id=4643971&page=1

Breaking Free: My Life with Dissociative Identity Disorder - Herschel Walker's new book

The mind of Brad S. - my own personal story.