Competing Co-Workers: Managing Workplace Relationships While Pursuing a Promotion

They're the people you spend more waking hours with than your family or friends. They're the ones who drive you crazy with their loud cubicle-farm snack time chewing or entertain you with their equally loud juicy personal calls. They're your lunch-mates and fellow sufferers through endless meetings. When push comes to shove, they're the ones who work by your side to get the job done so you can all go home and relax.

It is impossible for co-workers not to have a major impact on our quality of life. We live and work beside them. We rely on them to do their part, and agonize when they don't come through. We find friends, experts and mentors among them. We miss them when they move on, even if they drove us insane when they sat beside us.

With the stresses and demands of a busy workplace, co-worker dynamics are always evolving and ever-changing. How we relate to those we work with can significantly impact our professional lives.

Maintaining positive and productive relationships with your co-workers is even more difficult when you're competing with them for a promotion or a higher-level position. But in many workplaces, doing so is inevitable. Often, the only way to move forward in your career is to step onto the next rung in the ladder or to leave the organization for a higher position elsewhere. If your goal is to advance where you are, then at some point you'll probably find yourself competing with your colleagues for a better job within the organization.

Job searching is never easy. It can be even more challenging when you're competing against colleagues. You may consider them friends. You may wonder why the slacker down the hall, who surfs online dating sites all day instead of working, has the nerve to even think about competing for that available management job. You may worry that one person's closer ties to someone in management will give him an unfair edge. You'll probably also be wondering what the office grapevine is saying about you and your chances at landing the promotion.

Throwing your hat in the ring alongside your co-workers can feel like traipsing through quicksand. You can't keep the situation from feeling a bit strange, but there are many things you can do to both make yourself a frontrunner for that coveted promotion and maintain peaceful and productive relationships with your colleagues both before and after the job is filled.

Consider all possible outcomes and work through your feelings about them early on.

When competing for a higher-level job with your co-workers, you'll eventually deal with one of three possible outcomes. Think through them all, understand how you'll feel about each of them, and have an action plan for dealing productively with those feelings.

You get the job

Of course, the best possible outcome is that you're the one who is awarded the position. But remember that if this happens, you may have to deal with some resentment among your colleagues. The fact that you were the best person for the job doesn't keep others from getting their feelings hurt.

Are you thick-skinned enough to deal with being the subject of water cooler sniping for a bit? Will you be able to put yourself in the shoes of your disappointed colleagues and deal with their feelings professionally? If the promotion means you'll be supervising someone who applied alongside you, how will you work with them to put the experience behind you both and get on with the business of doing your jobs?

A co-worker gets the job

It could certainly happen. Maybe Bob down the hall has been with the company longer and has had more time to prove himself. Or maybe he just did a better job convincing management that he was their man.

Now, you'll need to act with grace and acceptance of the situation, especially if the promotion makes Bob your boss. Can you swallow your pride and work harder than ever to show both Bob and other managers that you're an invaluable asset when the next opportunity comes along? Can you avoid the urge to make petty comments about every real or perceived error Bob makes as he's adjusting to his new role? You'll need to continue doing the job you've always done without becoming a bitter thorn in everyone's side. No one likes a sore loser.

An outsider gets the job

Sometimes, the best candidate doesn't come from within. You and your co-workers thought that with your knowledge of the organization and your proven skills, that one of you would surely be a shoe-in. Management had a different idea. Now you're all sitting in your same old cube farm, and someone new is in the corner office.

It is almost impossible not to daydream a bit about the newcomer falling on her face, so you can give management a collective "I told you so." But that won't get any of you anywhere. If the outsider who was selected for the position isn't right for the job, she'll prove it herself eventually. If she's truly the best choice for the position, then working alongside her and learning from her expertise will only help you in the long run.

Think through each of these scenarios carefully and understand how you'll react to them. No one is perfect. You can be frustrated, angry and bitter. Vent to your family and friends. Journal about the experience. Eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's. But be prepared to not let your disappointment carry over into your job performance. Your office or cube is a place to work, not wallow.

Know the company culture in terms of discussing an internal job search.

The Boss

When you're applying for positions outside of your organization, knowing how much to talk about the process at work is often a no-brainer. You usually don't want your boss to know you're looking, so you keep your mouth shut.

Internal job searches are a different animal. There's no hiding your search from the boss when he's probably going to be one of the decision-makers.

In fact, the support of your boss can be one of the best things you have going for you during an internal job search. If you're working for a company that encourages advancement and your boss is doing his job, then helping employees who are ready to move forward in their careers is the name of the game.

Let your boss know that you'll be applying for the position long before he can hear it through the grapevine. Ask for open and honest feedback about your readiness for the role.

Don't expect your boss to consider you a shoo-in for the position or to help you become one. He may only have a limited say in the final decision. He may have other employees that he also considers viable candidates, and even if he truly feels that one of you is the best choice it is his job to make sure that the search proceeds fairly. Assure your boss that you'll be accepting of decisions made and continue to give your all to your job.

Co-workers

How to handle discussions of the search with your co-workers is trickier, and depends a lot on your company's culture.

If the environment is one where such discussions are encouraged, then communicating with your colleagues can work in your favor. If there's someone you work with regularly who is also applying for the job, being able to discuss things up front can alleviate awkwardness and tension.

With a fellow fair-minded professional, being honest with each other and taking a "may the best person win and we'll work well together either way" approach can help both of you feel less stressed about the process. But if you have reason to believe that a co-worker may resort to pettiness or reluctance to work with you during the search if she knows you're her competition, then you may wish to avoid any discussion.

You also need to figure out the expectations of your company in terms of discussing the search. If it is considered taboo to have conversations about your candidacy for the position, then doing so is one sure way to shoot yourself in the foot.

Work to Cultivate and Maintain Relationships with Your Co-Workers

Hopefully you've already built the foundations of solid working relationships with your co-workers. Now is the time to keep them going strong.

Those competing against your for the job will be observing you just as you are them. Those not in the race will be watching all of you, trying to evaluate how they feel about each of you in a higher level role.

Continue to be the friendly, helpful and productive co-worker. Be hard-working and humble but willing to share your expertise. Jump in when needed. Go above and beyond. Be friendly and interested in getting to know others in the organization without seeming insincere. No one likes the guy or girl who always seemed to ignore everything and live in their own little world, but who suddenly wants to be everyone's best friend now that there's a promotion on the line. If you've always been a more reticent and quiet colleague, try to smile more and make an effort to greet people as you walk by their cubicles, but don't suddenly attempt to become the life of the office.

Stay Focused on the Tasks at Hand

It will be difficult not to think about the job search while you're in the office. But whatever you do, don't let those thoughts keep you from focusing on the tasks at hand.

If your boss and others in the office see your work performance slipping because you're distracted and nervous, you can kiss the new position good-bye. If it appears that going through a job search puts so much stress on you that you can't perform your current role as well as you always have, then how can people have faith that you're ready for even more responsibility? How you perform under pressure is always a key factor in a job search.

Stay calm, focused, and invested in your work. Distract yourself by figuring out how to improve your current work processes.

Avoid Pettiness and Gossip

You may have a close circle of co-workers who want you to get the position. It will be tempting to talk through all the reasons so-and-so shouldn't get the job while your group sits in the lunchroom. Don't do it. You never know who is within earshot. If a manager who is on the search committee walks by and hears you talking about how Joe can't even turn on his own computer, let alone run your division, you're going to seem mean-spirited and petty. If one of your lunch buddies has computer problems later that afternoon and Joe helps her resolve them, then maybe she'll start thinking you're a bit petty too, even though she was laughing with you over her sandwich.

Remember that if you do get the promotion, you're going to need people to see you as trustworthy. The higher you are in the food chain, the more the job performance of others tends to impact you. Managers have to rely on positive relationships and each person willingly using their own expertise. A manager's job is much tougher when others regard him with distrust or suspicion.

The Written Materials

Writing resumes and cover letters for an internal promotion can be difficult. After all, everyone who will be reading them already knows what you do. You have to figure out how to present the information without boring your audience. You have to be accurate and still make sure your worth shines through.

Highlight accomplishments and ways you've gone above and beyond. What have you done already to improve processes and productivity for the company? The hiring managers already know whether or not you're a technology whiz or a human relations star. They want to see if you're capable of recognizing how you've put those skills to the test. They want to know what you've done better than anyone else.

References

Listing and providing references also requires some thought during an internal job search.

Just as with any job search, you want to choose people who are respected in the field and will be considered knowledgeable sources by the hiring officials. With internal references, you'll have to consider that co-workers who are also competing for the position may be tapping into the same resources.

Someone may be perfectly willing to serve as a reference for both you and the guy down the hall. She sees strengths in both of you. Just because she's willing to share her thoughts about you doesn't mean she also won't advocate for someone else. That doesn't make her a hypocrite. It is very possible that both you and the other person for whom she's agreed to be a reference bring potential strengths to the table.

In choosing your internal references, take extra care to select people who are very familiar with your job performance and who think highly of you and your potential. While this is always important when selecting reference, it is even more critical in an internal situation.

In The Interview

An internal job interview can be odd for both the interviewers and the interviewee. Everyone tries to treat the interview the same way you would if you'd never seen each other before, but that's hard. When an interviewer already knows what you do at work all day, it can be difficult to answer the "so tell me how you spend your days" question without sounding a bit idiotic.

You can't control what gets asked of you in the interview. But you should make sure you paint a very clear picture of the following in your responses:

How you outshine your colleagues and are the best candidate for the job. You do this, of course, through focusing on what you've learned and accomplished in the organization, not through downgrading the successes of your competitors.