Cone Head Kitty: A Poem About a Stoner Cat

Poor little girl
Not a happy camper
With her head restrained

She wants to groom
But she can't, nor can she scratch
Because of her condition

Flying at the speed of light
She took off in fright
From my brother's dog

Impaled herself hard
Jumping in a tree in my yard

Vet stitched her up
And said it was no pup
That bit her,

A tree or something got her
When she was going fast
As a zipper

Stoner cat found out
She couldn't walk forward
Because of the heavy cap

So now she scoots backward
And it's funnier than
cat in the hat

Because she lost peripheral vision
I moved her bowls
into the kitchen

We slept on the couch
So she wouldn't be
alone

Wake up this morning
To find she made the stairs
all on her own

Go to check on her,
She's exhausted
I see

Stairs were
probably hard with a cone head on
Worse than climbing that tree